FRIDAY May 1st ~ Seattle Erotic Art Festival After party!
AFTER-PARTY
At midnight, the Seattle Erotic Art Festival continues late into the night with the first of two incredible after parties.
Groove with renowned DJs, spinning until 4:00 am:
- Riz Rollins from KEXP
- Jen Woolfe
- Michael Holden
- Coral
Amazing acrobatic pole dancing performances by Pantera and Elizabeth Rose.
Interactive aerial rope suspensions by the inimitable Suspended Animation.
...and much more
Admission to after-party is included in the Festival Pass or day pass, or after midnight at the door.
http://seattleerotic.org
About Seattle Erotic Art Festival
Seattle Center
305 Harrison St
Seattle, WA 98109
(206) 684-7200
The Seattle Erotic Art Festival 2009 celebrates its seventh year May 1-3, 2009 in the Exhibition Hall of the Seattle Center, an internationally acclaimed center for visual and performance art (and home to the famous Space Needle). The 2009 Festival features a juried art exhibition, a festival store, interactive installations, performances, workshops, lectures, after-hours DJ parties, and more. (Daytime hours will be reserved for quiet, reflective art viewing while evening programs are sure to stir excitement.)
Tickets for the Seattle Erotic Art Festival are on sale now!
http://www.brownpapertickets.com
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
Thursday, April 09, 2009
Vitamin Dee's Pic of the Day
Hey y'all, I did my first photo shoot with the AMAZING Vitamin Dee. I had so much fun. I must write more about it. Until then, check out one of the many fantastic portraits she captured of me!
Jen Woolfe thru the eyes of Vitamin Dee.
See you at Victory Lounge Friday night, Seattle ladies!!
Friday April 10th Fox Box @ Victory Lounge
OPENING NIGHT!
Jen Woolfe (Shameless SF\Leschi Lounge)
DJ Coral (Touchsamadi)
Riff Raff (Leschi Lounge\Bromance)
Fox Box was created to have a party that features an ALL GIRL DJ LINE UP! Their only objective is to make you shake your booty all night long!
On the 2nd Friday of EVERY month, these ladies will be offering up a variety of beats including: Electro, BreakBeats, Progressive Trance and Techno.
POWER HOUR from 11pm to 1am serves cheap drinks and food!
Drinks: 1/2 off well, drafts and wine + $2 off top shelf + $1.50 PBR
Eats: $2.50 Polish Dogs + $1 tacos
VICTORY LOUNGE
433 Eastlake Ave E
Seattle, WA 98109
Doors: 9pm - 2am
Cover: $5 before 11pm | $7 after 11pm
http://www.myspace.com/foxboxseattle
Jen Woolfe thru the eyes of Vitamin Dee.
See you at Victory Lounge Friday night, Seattle ladies!!
Friday April 10th Fox Box @ Victory Lounge
OPENING NIGHT!
Jen Woolfe (Shameless SF\Leschi Lounge)
DJ Coral (Touchsamadi)
Riff Raff (Leschi Lounge\Bromance)
Fox Box was created to have a party that features an ALL GIRL DJ LINE UP! Their only objective is to make you shake your booty all night long!
On the 2nd Friday of EVERY month, these ladies will be offering up a variety of beats including: Electro, BreakBeats, Progressive Trance and Techno.
POWER HOUR from 11pm to 1am serves cheap drinks and food!
Drinks: 1/2 off well, drafts and wine + $2 off top shelf + $1.50 PBR
Eats: $2.50 Polish Dogs + $1 tacos
VICTORY LOUNGE
433 Eastlake Ave E
Seattle, WA 98109
Doors: 9pm - 2am
Cover: $5 before 11pm | $7 after 11pm
http://www.myspace.com/foxboxseattle
Saturday, March 28, 2009
NEXT GIGs: Next 2 Fridays in Seattle!
Friday April 3rd for HotWired @ Noc Noc
Future Nurses continue to bring performances, dirty electro, techno,
and psychedelic music together EVERY FIRST FRIDAY at Club Noc Noc in
Seattle.
GIRLS! vs BOYS! vs AMANITA’S BIRTHDAY
JEN WOOLFE vs CORAL
OSIRIS INDRIYA BRIAN ENOCH (aka Amanita)
MISS SHELRAWKA
live circus performances by:
WOMANIPURA
$5 before 10pm, $10 after
noc•)} noc•)}
1516 2nd Ave Seattle
www.hotwiredseattle.com
Friday April 10th Fox Box @ Victory Lounge
OPENING NIGHT!
Jen Woolfe (Shameless SF\Leschi Lounge)
DJ Coral (Touchsamadi)
Riff Raff (Leschi Lounge\Bromance)
Fox Box was created to have a party that features an ALL GIRL DJ LINE UP! Their only objective is to make you shake your booty all night long!
On the 2nd Friday of EVERY month, these ladies will be offering up a variety of beats including: Electro, BreakBeats, Progressive Trance and Techno.
POWER HOUR from 11pm to 1am serves cheap drinks and food!
Drinks: 1/2 off well, drafts and wine + $2 off top shelf + $1.50 PBR
Eats: $2.50 Polish Dogs + $1 tacos
VICTORY LOUNGE
433 Eastlake Ave E
Seattle, WA 98109
Doors: 9pm - 2am
Cover: $5 before 11pm | $7 after 11pm
http://www.myspace.com/foxboxseattle
Future Nurses continue to bring performances, dirty electro, techno,
and psychedelic music together EVERY FIRST FRIDAY at Club Noc Noc in
Seattle.
GIRLS! vs BOYS! vs AMANITA’S BIRTHDAY
JEN WOOLFE vs CORAL
OSIRIS INDRIYA BRIAN ENOCH (aka Amanita)
MISS SHELRAWKA
live circus performances by:
WOMANIPURA
$5 before 10pm, $10 after
noc•)} noc•)}
1516 2nd Ave Seattle
www.hotwiredseattle.com
Friday April 10th Fox Box @ Victory Lounge
OPENING NIGHT!
Jen Woolfe (Shameless SF\Leschi Lounge)
DJ Coral (Touchsamadi)
Riff Raff (Leschi Lounge\Bromance)
Fox Box was created to have a party that features an ALL GIRL DJ LINE UP! Their only objective is to make you shake your booty all night long!
On the 2nd Friday of EVERY month, these ladies will be offering up a variety of beats including: Electro, BreakBeats, Progressive Trance and Techno.
POWER HOUR from 11pm to 1am serves cheap drinks and food!
Drinks: 1/2 off well, drafts and wine + $2 off top shelf + $1.50 PBR
Eats: $2.50 Polish Dogs + $1 tacos
VICTORY LOUNGE
433 Eastlake Ave E
Seattle, WA 98109
Doors: 9pm - 2am
Cover: $5 before 11pm | $7 after 11pm
http://www.myspace.com/foxboxseattle
Saturday, March 21, 2009
The Eagle Has Landed
A year ago this week, I set off on my West Coast Adventure with a 1-way ticket to San Francisco. I had no home, no job and every possibility for my future. Before I left, I'd been doing some pretty intense energy healing. A large piece of that healing was for me to learn to ground myself (or charge my Base Chakra) regardless of my location. I'd begun a meditation during one healing session, where my home was a large Oak tree. Wherever I went, so did my home. I could decorate the home however I wanted, leave it whenever I wanted and most importantly, return to it whenever I wanted to feel safe. Over the course of my trip, I decorated the inside of my imaginary oak tree with all the things that I like to keep me comfortable. There are things like a fake, fluffy teddy bear-skin rug on the floor, a fireplace on the ceiling, and a huge branch outside the top floor of the trunk (reachable by the air elevator) where I may look out over the world. I was an eagle, ready to soar.
Though my West Coast Adventure ended mid-July, the real healing that I was to do was just getting started. I realize, dear readers, that I never published my Detox Part II story. This is mostly because the detox is still going on. I wasn't just detoxing the poison of 15 years of drinking and clubbing. Throughout the last year, I've been detoxing all the things that have been holding me back from flight.
Not just physical or chemical. Or emotional.
My largest setback with soaring as an artist started the minute I signed a lease for a loft space on the edge of Emeryville and Oakland. I'd been wrestling with my inner yuppie for quite some time. On my inner artist's path, I'd been enjoying short spurts of I.T. contracting and keeping my living costs low, giving up money for time. But I felt that since I was going back to work full time, I wanted to enjoy some of the perks of having a full-time paycheck. I wanted to live on my own in a rad place. I'd found the place and it was gorgeous. Plus, it felt like me.
What I didn't realize at the time, was that it was a different me, a me I'd let go of long ago, burned with my business cards in the fire of the Temple. She was resurrected for 5 months in an empty but beautiful loft space on the edge of Emeryville and Oakland. Right on the edge -- the very line where the two cities meet. Perhaps this was a sign; one I did not see. Emeryville, a city of high-end retail shops, snazzy restaurants and Pixar Studios, and Oakland, the bay's eclectic underbelly, booming with bohemians. Kind of like the two sides of me. I had built the dream of my next 4 years: where I was going, what I was going to do with the loft space. But my dream was very spendy, and when I was laid off from my full time job at the start-up where I was working, the dream shattered.
For the first time in 8 years, I was off my path.
What I felt then was confused. There was no magic. What the hell was going on? I remember heading to the Berkeley Marina, right after my lay off. I climbed out of my car and down onto some large rocks, overlooking the water. Across the bay I could see San Francisco, sitting tall and all-knowing. 'You know what you're doing,' I thought.
Through a ground-breaking tarot reading from Jessica Star, I learned that I was in a cycle and had no idea. The job at the Berkeley start-up was not an end to a means. It was a vehicle to plant me in the East Bay, a place for refuge and resurrection; an artistic mecca where I can step back from the excitement and energy of the city and create before entering it with all the fullness of who I am.
But first, I had to get out of my loft space. And I needed all of my deposit back.
Enter Ranger Napalm: a Black Rock City Ranger, ex East Coast party promoter and long-time friend of my long-time friend Vudu. Napalm had a house in the hills of Oakland with 2 empty bedrooms, a backyard and a gorgeous view of the bay. Plus, he would wave my rent until I got back on my feet financially. The magic was back! I cleaned the loft space silly for 3 days, spackled and painted. I retrieved all my deposit back and left my loft dream to a fancy young couple with 3 cats.
Napalm isn't the only new friend that I have acquired here in the Bay, nor is he the only one that Vudu introduced me to. Seems that there are quite a few D.C. party kidz roaming the city and they have been wonderfully welcoming and willing to show me the way. Carls, for one, a hot rod-riding designer\bartender, has taken me under her wing and introduced to me the more stylish side of the lesbian scene with events such as a the weekly happy hour at Orson's and the flirtatious Fem Bar. Along with new friends, I've also been deepening my connections with old friends. I'm throwing parties with Shameless Robb and Mugs, swapping coffee with the Ambrosial Philosopher, booking Shahid Buttar's lyrical endowment to enhance my groove, and celebrating my 1-year anniversary with the Conscious Fashionista. I guess my point with this paragraph is: I've met some amazing people, and they've been taking care of me.
And I've been taking care of me. My chemical detox is not over. After 3 months of hard-core cleansing, I went back to my old ways. For about 2 months I denied that my body wasn't ready to be back. I broke out yet again with cold sores about mid-January and then put the proverbial bottle back on the shelf. I was connected through a massage therapist (and DJ student) of mine in Seattle to a healer (an another new friend) who recommended some over-the-counter solutions to help continue my cleanse. I also decided to do a liver detox. My liver needs some love. Its tells me that during my acupuncture appointments, when those points that are connected to my liver cause me to wince in pain and all but smack my dear acupuncturist across the mouth. I'll detox my liver for another 2 months and then see where I'm at before I decide what my new relationship with alcohol is to be.
Ok, more about the new me. I still have DJ gigs. Way more than I expected. In fact, I have the perfect amount: 1-2 a month is great for me. With my residency at Shameless SF's new monthly starting every 3rd Thursday at Triple Crown, my occasional appearance at the Qoöl happy hour at 111 Minna and multiple new relationships forming seemingly every time I go out, I couldn't be happier with how often I get my DJ fix. Jondi and Spesh, Qoöl's originators, also put my profile & mix up on the internationally known web site, Proton Radio. And to top it off, Spesh told me I was 'One of the good ones'. Talk about reassurance!
And that's just in the Bay Area. I also have some fantastic gigs coming up in Seattle the first week of April. On April 3rd, I'll be firing up the dance floor again for HotWired at Noc Noc with Coral, Amanita, Osiris & DJ Miss Shelrawka. Then on April 10th, I'm playing on my first bill with my latest student of the DJ arts, "Riff Raff at Victory Lounge. I have another huge gig coming up in Seattle in May, but I'll keep that under wraps until the event is announced (Ooohh, suspense!).
Regarding music production, I've just crossed a milestone. Up until now, I've been in the process of learning the tools. While this will never end, I do know that now every sound that I create during the learning process, or in the creation process, are elements that will be layers of my tracks. I know what the instruments are and which pieces of the songs they can help to create. I know the layout of a song, how to add tension and how to move it forward. The sound during this part of the process is so important that I've finally had to buckle down and buy some monitors so I can hear every frequency with crystal precision. Since I'm still under financial duress, I went for low-end but quality monitors, the KRK Rokit 5 Generation 2 model. Two of those, along with a subwoofer to pound out some filthy, brimming bass, and I'm ready for this exciting new adventure in my artistic career.
To accompany my new me, I'm about to embark on a PR Relaunch of Jen Woolfe Inc (its actually an LLC, but that doesn't really have the same ring to it, does it?). First, my long-time buddy Kanani worked her lil' heart out to make a new logo, CD covers and gorgeous business cards. Next, in two weeks I'll be coming out with a new double-disc mix CD (including cover) to share with everyone my new tastes in tracks. Third, I'll have a new myspace music page for exposé of the said tracks (its there now, but don't look!). Then last but not least, is the release of my new website, with sizzling new graphics, layout and lightening fast upload speeds (for the geeks).
So you can see with all these exciting changes, why I had to look inside myself and let go of things that were weighing me down (12 lbs of things, in fact). I am now grounded. I have my nest, my tools and the support I need. I have back my path, my vision. I know what I sound like and I sure as hell know what I feel like. Now that I have me, the sky is the limit. And once again, I'm ready to soar.
Though my West Coast Adventure ended mid-July, the real healing that I was to do was just getting started. I realize, dear readers, that I never published my Detox Part II story. This is mostly because the detox is still going on. I wasn't just detoxing the poison of 15 years of drinking and clubbing. Throughout the last year, I've been detoxing all the things that have been holding me back from flight.
Not just physical or chemical. Or emotional.
My largest setback with soaring as an artist started the minute I signed a lease for a loft space on the edge of Emeryville and Oakland. I'd been wrestling with my inner yuppie for quite some time. On my inner artist's path, I'd been enjoying short spurts of I.T. contracting and keeping my living costs low, giving up money for time. But I felt that since I was going back to work full time, I wanted to enjoy some of the perks of having a full-time paycheck. I wanted to live on my own in a rad place. I'd found the place and it was gorgeous. Plus, it felt like me.
What I didn't realize at the time, was that it was a different me, a me I'd let go of long ago, burned with my business cards in the fire of the Temple. She was resurrected for 5 months in an empty but beautiful loft space on the edge of Emeryville and Oakland. Right on the edge -- the very line where the two cities meet. Perhaps this was a sign; one I did not see. Emeryville, a city of high-end retail shops, snazzy restaurants and Pixar Studios, and Oakland, the bay's eclectic underbelly, booming with bohemians. Kind of like the two sides of me. I had built the dream of my next 4 years: where I was going, what I was going to do with the loft space. But my dream was very spendy, and when I was laid off from my full time job at the start-up where I was working, the dream shattered.
For the first time in 8 years, I was off my path.
What I felt then was confused. There was no magic. What the hell was going on? I remember heading to the Berkeley Marina, right after my lay off. I climbed out of my car and down onto some large rocks, overlooking the water. Across the bay I could see San Francisco, sitting tall and all-knowing. 'You know what you're doing,' I thought.
Through a ground-breaking tarot reading from Jessica Star, I learned that I was in a cycle and had no idea. The job at the Berkeley start-up was not an end to a means. It was a vehicle to plant me in the East Bay, a place for refuge and resurrection; an artistic mecca where I can step back from the excitement and energy of the city and create before entering it with all the fullness of who I am.
But first, I had to get out of my loft space. And I needed all of my deposit back.
Enter Ranger Napalm: a Black Rock City Ranger, ex East Coast party promoter and long-time friend of my long-time friend Vudu. Napalm had a house in the hills of Oakland with 2 empty bedrooms, a backyard and a gorgeous view of the bay. Plus, he would wave my rent until I got back on my feet financially. The magic was back! I cleaned the loft space silly for 3 days, spackled and painted. I retrieved all my deposit back and left my loft dream to a fancy young couple with 3 cats.
Napalm isn't the only new friend that I have acquired here in the Bay, nor is he the only one that Vudu introduced me to. Seems that there are quite a few D.C. party kidz roaming the city and they have been wonderfully welcoming and willing to show me the way. Carls, for one, a hot rod-riding designer\bartender, has taken me under her wing and introduced to me the more stylish side of the lesbian scene with events such as a the weekly happy hour at Orson's and the flirtatious Fem Bar. Along with new friends, I've also been deepening my connections with old friends. I'm throwing parties with Shameless Robb and Mugs, swapping coffee with the Ambrosial Philosopher, booking Shahid Buttar's lyrical endowment to enhance my groove, and celebrating my 1-year anniversary with the Conscious Fashionista. I guess my point with this paragraph is: I've met some amazing people, and they've been taking care of me.
And I've been taking care of me. My chemical detox is not over. After 3 months of hard-core cleansing, I went back to my old ways. For about 2 months I denied that my body wasn't ready to be back. I broke out yet again with cold sores about mid-January and then put the proverbial bottle back on the shelf. I was connected through a massage therapist (and DJ student) of mine in Seattle to a healer (an another new friend) who recommended some over-the-counter solutions to help continue my cleanse. I also decided to do a liver detox. My liver needs some love. Its tells me that during my acupuncture appointments, when those points that are connected to my liver cause me to wince in pain and all but smack my dear acupuncturist across the mouth. I'll detox my liver for another 2 months and then see where I'm at before I decide what my new relationship with alcohol is to be.
Ok, more about the new me. I still have DJ gigs. Way more than I expected. In fact, I have the perfect amount: 1-2 a month is great for me. With my residency at Shameless SF's new monthly starting every 3rd Thursday at Triple Crown, my occasional appearance at the Qoöl happy hour at 111 Minna and multiple new relationships forming seemingly every time I go out, I couldn't be happier with how often I get my DJ fix. Jondi and Spesh, Qoöl's originators, also put my profile & mix up on the internationally known web site, Proton Radio. And to top it off, Spesh told me I was 'One of the good ones'. Talk about reassurance!
And that's just in the Bay Area. I also have some fantastic gigs coming up in Seattle the first week of April. On April 3rd, I'll be firing up the dance floor again for HotWired at Noc Noc with Coral, Amanita, Osiris & DJ Miss Shelrawka. Then on April 10th, I'm playing on my first bill with my latest student of the DJ arts, "Riff Raff at Victory Lounge. I have another huge gig coming up in Seattle in May, but I'll keep that under wraps until the event is announced (Ooohh, suspense!).
Regarding music production, I've just crossed a milestone. Up until now, I've been in the process of learning the tools. While this will never end, I do know that now every sound that I create during the learning process, or in the creation process, are elements that will be layers of my tracks. I know what the instruments are and which pieces of the songs they can help to create. I know the layout of a song, how to add tension and how to move it forward. The sound during this part of the process is so important that I've finally had to buckle down and buy some monitors so I can hear every frequency with crystal precision. Since I'm still under financial duress, I went for low-end but quality monitors, the KRK Rokit 5 Generation 2 model. Two of those, along with a subwoofer to pound out some filthy, brimming bass, and I'm ready for this exciting new adventure in my artistic career.
To accompany my new me, I'm about to embark on a PR Relaunch of Jen Woolfe Inc (its actually an LLC, but that doesn't really have the same ring to it, does it?). First, my long-time buddy Kanani worked her lil' heart out to make a new logo, CD covers and gorgeous business cards. Next, in two weeks I'll be coming out with a new double-disc mix CD (including cover) to share with everyone my new tastes in tracks. Third, I'll have a new myspace music page for exposé of the said tracks (its there now, but don't look!). Then last but not least, is the release of my new website, with sizzling new graphics, layout and lightening fast upload speeds (for the geeks).
So you can see with all these exciting changes, why I had to look inside myself and let go of things that were weighing me down (12 lbs of things, in fact). I am now grounded. I have my nest, my tools and the support I need. I have back my path, my vision. I know what I sound like and I sure as hell know what I feel like. Now that I have me, the sky is the limit. And once again, I'm ready to soar.
Monday, March 09, 2009
NEXT GIGs: 111 Minna & Shine
Wednesday, March 11th: Qoöl
5-6pm Marc Fong
6-645pm Hyper D
645-730pm Dooz
730-815pm Jen Woolfe
815-9pm Scott Carrelli
9-945pm Spesh
111 Minna Street Gallery, 111 Minna Street @ 2nd Street
San Francisco
5:00 PM to 10:00 PM
$5 (free before 6pm), 21+
Thursday March 12th
March 12th: ~shameless presents~
TeChNoCoLoR @ Shine...
feat.
Dj Icon ( djicon.com )
Dex Stakker ( Opel \ Pronoia )
Jen Woolfe ( Shameless \ Dreemworld )
Live MC by Shahid Buttar ( www.shahidbuttar.com )
10p-2a
1337 Mission St.
San Francisco, CA 94103
5-6pm Marc Fong
6-645pm Hyper D
645-730pm Dooz
730-815pm Jen Woolfe
815-9pm Scott Carrelli
9-945pm Spesh
111 Minna Street Gallery, 111 Minna Street @ 2nd Street
San Francisco
5:00 PM to 10:00 PM
$5 (free before 6pm), 21+
Thursday March 12th
March 12th: ~shameless presents~
TeChNoCoLoR @ Shine...
feat.
Dj Icon ( djicon.com )
Dex Stakker ( Opel \ Pronoia )
Jen Woolfe ( Shameless \ Dreemworld )
Live MC by Shahid Buttar ( www.shahidbuttar.com )
10p-2a
1337 Mission St.
San Francisco, CA 94103
Monday, February 23, 2009
NEXT GIG: Sat March 7th -- Green Lite Revolt!
Saturday 3.7.09
shameless presents
GREEN L iTE: REVOLT!
shameless sf 1 year anniversary
Celebrating one year of bringing your the beats your mom warned you about...
~ the beat selektas ~
M3 (Green Gorilla Lounge, Triple Crowne)
Mancub (Space Cowboys, Sleevin records)
Lindsey-G (LayerZ, AV, muti music)
Robb Green (Shameless SF)
SimpleGreene (Strategik SF)
Jen Woolfe (Shameless SF, Dreemworld)
Full bar ~ 21+
10pm – 6am
Call info line for location day of party: 415-577-2060
Hosted by Mugsie
Contact:
Email simply.shameless.sf@gmail.com
MySpace www.myspace.com/shamelesssf
FaceBook http://www.facebook.com/home.php?ref=home.../group.php?gid=27993224366
Official Site: http://www.myspace.com/shamelesssf
shameless presents
GREEN L iTE: REVOLT!
shameless sf 1 year anniversary
Celebrating one year of bringing your the beats your mom warned you about...
~ the beat selektas ~
M3 (Green Gorilla Lounge, Triple Crowne)
Mancub (Space Cowboys, Sleevin records)
Lindsey-G (LayerZ, AV, muti music)
Robb Green (Shameless SF)
SimpleGreene (Strategik SF)
Jen Woolfe (Shameless SF, Dreemworld)
Full bar ~ 21+
10pm – 6am
Call info line for location day of party: 415-577-2060
Hosted by Mugsie
Contact:
Email simply.shameless.sf@gmail.com
MySpace www.myspace.com/shamelesssf
FaceBook http://www.facebook.com/home.php?ref=home.../group.php?gid=27993224366
Official Site: http://www.myspace.com/shamelesssf
NEW (practice) MIX: Dark Rise
My music life has been a bit on the back burner while I get myself ever more settled out here in Oakland. But today I finally organized my music room\studio in my new place. I was compelled then, of course, to mix up some of my new tunes. About 60% of these I hadn't mixed before or even listened to! So this is a practice mix. There are many mistakes. Not recommended with headphones. I have another 2-disc CD in mind to actually release, so I don't feel too into perfecting this one. But I wanted to share it with you anyway, in case you've been missing my mixes as much as I have!
I called it Dark Rise because I think the first half is a little darker than my usual. I think this is a reflection of my mood recently. Still, I Rise.
http://www.jenwoolfe.com/audio/dark_rise.mp3
Playlist (Mostly in Order)
Get A Fakk Up - Gianlorenz Bernini [Digital Electro Vol.2]
Drops of Pleasure (Alexei & Omar Rmix) - Alex Roque feat. Sloz [Digital Electro Vol 2]
Porno Star - Etostone [Absolute Electronica]
Provocateur (Taste T's Nude in Public Mix) - Taste T [Provocateur]
Sensation Shot (S&M Original Mix) - Stylus Robb & Mattias [Sensation Shot]
Melting Mood - Eriq Johnson [Melting Mood]
Rise - Limacon [The Ride]
Baby - Meller [Back to the Future]
Mojito - Alex Dias [ Ads Records ]
Kidding (Taster Peter Club Mix) - Taster Peter [ E-Punk Stuff EP ]
The Bud - Audionatica / Claude Stafferi & Sandro S. [Mystic Road]
Stereo & Video - D: Fuse vs ScumFrog [Stereo & Video]
Girls & Boys & Toys (Bender's Playtime Remix) - Mochipet [reBootied]
Perfect - Schmidt [Perfect]
4 Bit - Uberzone [Ideology]
Overload (Valdambrini Remix) - Patrizio Mattei [Ego]
I called it Dark Rise because I think the first half is a little darker than my usual. I think this is a reflection of my mood recently. Still, I Rise.
http://www.jenwoolfe.com/audio/dark_rise.mp3
Playlist (Mostly in Order)
Get A Fakk Up - Gianlorenz Bernini [Digital Electro Vol.2]
Drops of Pleasure (Alexei & Omar Rmix) - Alex Roque feat. Sloz [Digital Electro Vol 2]
Porno Star - Etostone [Absolute Electronica]
Provocateur (Taste T's Nude in Public Mix) - Taste T [Provocateur]
Sensation Shot (S&M Original Mix) - Stylus Robb & Mattias [Sensation Shot]
Melting Mood - Eriq Johnson [Melting Mood]
Rise - Limacon [The Ride]
Baby - Meller [Back to the Future]
Mojito - Alex Dias [ Ads Records ]
Kidding (Taster Peter Club Mix) - Taster Peter [ E-Punk Stuff EP ]
The Bud - Audionatica / Claude Stafferi & Sandro S. [Mystic Road]
Stereo & Video - D: Fuse vs ScumFrog [Stereo & Video]
Girls & Boys & Toys (Bender's Playtime Remix) - Mochipet [reBootied]
Perfect - Schmidt [Perfect]
4 Bit - Uberzone [Ideology]
Overload (Valdambrini Remix) - Patrizio Mattei [Ego]
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
It Never Hurts to Ask, Except Sometimes
My mom used to say "It never hurts to ask." But that's simply not true.
It does hurt. Bad.
For most of my adult life thus far, asking didn't hurt.
Here's why.
When I was a child, and I asked my Dad if I could stay up late.
Dad said, "No. Kids go to bed by 9."
I asked my Mom if I could wear only bottoms in the pool like my brother did.
Mom said "No, girls wear bathing suits."
Upon hearing that cement sound of "NO," I felt pain. I felt like I was doing something wrong. I felt imperfect. I didn't like to be imperfect. I didn't like trying to break the rules. It felt bad and it hurt.
No sends an explosion of pain through your heart into your brain. Your brain reminds you of that pain each and every time you approach another person with your desires. I'm pretty sure that I cried. I always cried when I got into trouble. I didn't like getting in trouble. I didn't like feeling wrong.
So a long, long time ago my brilliant, hurt, child-mind devised a plan so that I would never feel pain when asking. I would only ask for something when I knew the other person would say yes.
Here was the plan: Instead of asking specifically for what I wanted, I would ask supporting questions that would let me know if the person would say yes or no. If I thought they'd say yes, I'd ask them. If I thought they'd say no, I wouldn't. Or even better (comes in my brilliant teenage mind!), I could use my powers of intelligence to convince them to say yes, even before I asked them!
But very few brilliant ideas are also brilliant in their implementation. Over time, this behavior was tucked neatly away into my unconsciousness, along with my inner child.
Over time, things came about from this behavior that affected me in very negative ways.
1) I missed out on things.
If I thought someone would say no, I simply wouldn't ask. It's scary to think of how many times I stopped myself from asking for things over the years.
I tested this recently. I'd been doing some cash-only project work for a small business. Since I'd never worked in San Francisco proper before, I didn't consider the cost of travel to get to the job when I negotiated a price. Taking alternative forms of transportation was costing $13.60 a day, which was almost a full hours' work.
In the past, I never would have asked. We made a deal at the beginning about price and that was it, is how I would talk myself out of risking the feeling of pain of rejection. But I resolved to change that behavior, so I assembled my supporting arguments in my head and thought of how to best present my case. I thought of what I would say if they said no, and how I would react.
Luckily, I didn't have to practice that. Because when I asked, he said Yes. Yes, he would pay me for the cost of transportation. Wow!
Yes.
Yes sends an explosion of pleasure through your heart and your brain. Yes feels very very good.
2) I didn't fully develop the tools to deal with the rejection.
When someone said no and I thought they were going to say yes, I completely lost it. My emotions took over and it ended in an explosion of my own frustration.
For example.
Two weeks ago, I received my cell phone bill. The bill was a whooping $560! This is far from my usual $90 per month. I called Verizon Wireless Customer Service and asked them what was going on. It had to be a billing mistake!
It actually wasn't a mistake. I'd been calling the California Unemployment office for many hours in the last few weeks. Once I did for almost an entire day. I would get through to the menu and then hear the message 'Due to the number of callers already waiting, we are unable to take your call. Please try again later'.
I eventually gave up on calling and went down to the CA unemployment office in person to use their phones. What I didn't know was that each time I dialed their number and was connected to the automated service, it charged me for minutes. I don't have an unlimited plan and thus went over my minutes -- by $460!
I immediately called the Customer Service department and spoke with a few different people. They would take off $200 of the bill if I upgraded to the new plan, which would cost me $125 a month instead of $90. However, there was still $160 that I didn't feel I needed to pay (and frankly couldn't afford -- I mean, I was calling the unemployment office, after all!)
So here I was, wanting something that I felt I deserved. I agreed to get roped into their plan upgrade. I did my part. Now I wanted Verizon to remove the other $160. I wrote down my supporting arguments. I called them with the intention of being calm and reasonable.
I spoke to two different Customer Service Reps, but they wouldn't remove the extra $160. I kept my cool. One of the reps said, "I can send you to the Finance Dept. and they can help you further."
I asked her, "Do you think there's any chance they will take off the $160 in that dept.? Because if not, I'm just going to work out a payment plan."
She said, "Yes."
Yes sends an explosion of pleasure through your heart and your brain. Yes feels very very good.
Unfortunately, however, I built an expectation. I built an expectation that the next department would fulfill my needs by taking off the $160.
However, contrary to my belief, the Finance Department rep said "No. We can't do that here in this Dept. I'll have to send you back to Customer Service."
What:?!?! I was blindsided. I was lied to. My expectation of the fulfillment of desires was shattered by this terrible, terrible voice. I hated her and this whole experience!
I was caught off guard. I was frustrated. I felt pain. So, instead of staying calm and saying, "Please send me to a Manager," I completely lost it. I gave the poor guy and ear full and had to call back later and start over.
I lost my temper. I lost their respect. I lost a teeny tiny bit of my own self-esteem.
I never did get the $160 back. But once I caught up, I left Verizon. And I never used a cell phone to sign up for unemployment again !
3) I lost my ability to listen to my own desires.
When, as that young, brilliant child, I'd tucked away my aptitude to ask directly, what went with it was my ability to listen my own desires. I didn't realize this. In fact, it took about two years of therapy to even uncover what going on.
I don't have a real-life example for this except to say that often times I would get lost in the supporting questions instead of the root desires. It would be like going into a grocery store wanting to buy coffee. You think to yourself, I want coffee.
But you aren't sure if you have coffee at home and you definitely know you're out of cream. And you simply can't have coffee without cream, so you're definitely buying cream. And if you have cream then you can make that Penne with Spicy Vodka Tomato Cream Sauce you've been wanting to make. So then you need pasta, garlic, red peppers, sausage and Parmesan cheese. Yum!
You go into the grocery store, you buy the ingredients for dinner. But you forget the coffee. And you even forget that coffee was your original desire.
Because I was asking supporting questions to figure out what the person thought (to know if they'd say yes), I'd forgotten what it was I had desired in the first place!
If you've been reading this blog for a while, you know that I've been starting a new phase of my life. I've been changing dramatically. I've been looking deeply into my own self. I turned over this rock and found this thing that I do, this indirectness, with its negative repercussions, and I don't like it. So I decided to change it, or at least have knowledge of when I'm doing it and thus have a choice.
I decided: when I'm going to ask someone for something, I will first ask myself: What is it that I desire? Then, I will ask the person directly to give me what I desire.
Then BAM!!! They say no. OUCH. That hurt.
Now, the next step: dealing with the pain. Ok, now that I'd put myself here, I found that there are different kinds of pain to deal with.
Lots of different kinds of pains.
And completely new situations. Situations that didn't necessarily surface before, because I'd only asked for things if I thought someone would say yes. Which means, they would want to do them. Now I'm learning that, people sometimes say yes, even if they don't want to.
I've found myself in situations where I now have to defend my original desires.
4) I don't know I could lost things by asking for what I want.
Back to that cash-only project work I'd been doing for the small business in the city. We'd negotiated that the business would pay me every Friday. The first week, the owner forgot I had worked 5 days instead of 4, and he only paid me for 4. I brought this to his attention and he paid me the rest right away.
The second week, the envelope was $25 short of the total. When I brought it to his attention, he asked if he could pay me on Monday. However, Monday morning, he said he didn't have the cash, could he pay me the next day.
I said, "Yes, but I'd rather that this is the last time this happens. We negotiated that I am to be paid in full on Fridays, so I would prefer to get paid in full on Fridays".
The owner of this small business didn't like this. At all. The next morning, upon my arrival, he met me out front. He gave me an envelope with the rest of what they owed me and said, despite the fact that my project was not over, my services were no longer needed.
I was fired. Ouch.
A new kind of rejection. A new kind of pain. A kind that took me some time to understand.
Speaking to a good friend later that week who had set me up with the temp job, he laid it out for me. "Yeah", he said, "(the owner) doesn't really like to be called out on."
Was I calling him out? Or was I simply upholding my value.
It took me some time to realize that, unlike the previous negative impacts, what I did was not wrong. Sure, I'd lost the project, which hurt especially because it was at a time when I really needed the cash.
However, I did something that was even more valuable. I stood up for myself. I asked for what I wanted. I defended my position when it was challenged. I protected myself, my desire and my value, in spite of the risk of pain. In spite, even, of loss.
Back to the negative impacts. This is one that was the hardest to come to terms with.
5) I manipulated people.
I manipulated people whom I love. I manipulated people whom I respect and would not ever want to hurt. I manipulated people would probably have otherwise made up their own minds into deciding to fulfill my desire anyway. This was especially true with my romantic relationships. I'm coming to terms with this, I'm healing through this. I'm changing this.
Healing a process. Changing is a process. Having compassion for what I have that I don't like is the first step in starting that change.
My world has had lots of no's lately. They hurt. They hurt every time. Sometimes, I even cry. The difference now is that even though that is true, as long as I continue dig into my desires, and have the courage to ask, sometimes, maybe, once in a while, my ears will hear those sweet, sweet words.
Yes.
And yes sends an explosion of pleasure through your heart and your brain.
That one yes erases all no's along the way.
==
"He who dares, my son. He who dares." -- Jip in 'Human Traffic'
It does hurt. Bad.
For most of my adult life thus far, asking didn't hurt.
Here's why.
When I was a child, and I asked my Dad if I could stay up late.
Dad said, "No. Kids go to bed by 9."
I asked my Mom if I could wear only bottoms in the pool like my brother did.
Mom said "No, girls wear bathing suits."
Upon hearing that cement sound of "NO," I felt pain. I felt like I was doing something wrong. I felt imperfect. I didn't like to be imperfect. I didn't like trying to break the rules. It felt bad and it hurt.
No sends an explosion of pain through your heart into your brain. Your brain reminds you of that pain each and every time you approach another person with your desires. I'm pretty sure that I cried. I always cried when I got into trouble. I didn't like getting in trouble. I didn't like feeling wrong.
So a long, long time ago my brilliant, hurt, child-mind devised a plan so that I would never feel pain when asking. I would only ask for something when I knew the other person would say yes.
Here was the plan: Instead of asking specifically for what I wanted, I would ask supporting questions that would let me know if the person would say yes or no. If I thought they'd say yes, I'd ask them. If I thought they'd say no, I wouldn't. Or even better (comes in my brilliant teenage mind!), I could use my powers of intelligence to convince them to say yes, even before I asked them!
But very few brilliant ideas are also brilliant in their implementation. Over time, this behavior was tucked neatly away into my unconsciousness, along with my inner child.
Over time, things came about from this behavior that affected me in very negative ways.
1) I missed out on things.
If I thought someone would say no, I simply wouldn't ask. It's scary to think of how many times I stopped myself from asking for things over the years.
I tested this recently. I'd been doing some cash-only project work for a small business. Since I'd never worked in San Francisco proper before, I didn't consider the cost of travel to get to the job when I negotiated a price. Taking alternative forms of transportation was costing $13.60 a day, which was almost a full hours' work.
In the past, I never would have asked. We made a deal at the beginning about price and that was it, is how I would talk myself out of risking the feeling of pain of rejection. But I resolved to change that behavior, so I assembled my supporting arguments in my head and thought of how to best present my case. I thought of what I would say if they said no, and how I would react.
Luckily, I didn't have to practice that. Because when I asked, he said Yes. Yes, he would pay me for the cost of transportation. Wow!
Yes.
Yes sends an explosion of pleasure through your heart and your brain. Yes feels very very good.
2) I didn't fully develop the tools to deal with the rejection.
When someone said no and I thought they were going to say yes, I completely lost it. My emotions took over and it ended in an explosion of my own frustration.
For example.
Two weeks ago, I received my cell phone bill. The bill was a whooping $560! This is far from my usual $90 per month. I called Verizon Wireless Customer Service and asked them what was going on. It had to be a billing mistake!
It actually wasn't a mistake. I'd been calling the California Unemployment office for many hours in the last few weeks. Once I did for almost an entire day. I would get through to the menu and then hear the message 'Due to the number of callers already waiting, we are unable to take your call. Please try again later'.
I eventually gave up on calling and went down to the CA unemployment office in person to use their phones. What I didn't know was that each time I dialed their number and was connected to the automated service, it charged me for minutes. I don't have an unlimited plan and thus went over my minutes -- by $460!
I immediately called the Customer Service department and spoke with a few different people. They would take off $200 of the bill if I upgraded to the new plan, which would cost me $125 a month instead of $90. However, there was still $160 that I didn't feel I needed to pay (and frankly couldn't afford -- I mean, I was calling the unemployment office, after all!)
So here I was, wanting something that I felt I deserved. I agreed to get roped into their plan upgrade. I did my part. Now I wanted Verizon to remove the other $160. I wrote down my supporting arguments. I called them with the intention of being calm and reasonable.
I spoke to two different Customer Service Reps, but they wouldn't remove the extra $160. I kept my cool. One of the reps said, "I can send you to the Finance Dept. and they can help you further."
I asked her, "Do you think there's any chance they will take off the $160 in that dept.? Because if not, I'm just going to work out a payment plan."
She said, "Yes."
Yes sends an explosion of pleasure through your heart and your brain. Yes feels very very good.
Unfortunately, however, I built an expectation. I built an expectation that the next department would fulfill my needs by taking off the $160.
However, contrary to my belief, the Finance Department rep said "No. We can't do that here in this Dept. I'll have to send you back to Customer Service."
What:?!?! I was blindsided. I was lied to. My expectation of the fulfillment of desires was shattered by this terrible, terrible voice. I hated her and this whole experience!
I was caught off guard. I was frustrated. I felt pain. So, instead of staying calm and saying, "Please send me to a Manager," I completely lost it. I gave the poor guy and ear full and had to call back later and start over.
I lost my temper. I lost their respect. I lost a teeny tiny bit of my own self-esteem.
I never did get the $160 back. But once I caught up, I left Verizon. And I never used a cell phone to sign up for unemployment again !
3) I lost my ability to listen to my own desires.
When, as that young, brilliant child, I'd tucked away my aptitude to ask directly, what went with it was my ability to listen my own desires. I didn't realize this. In fact, it took about two years of therapy to even uncover what going on.
I don't have a real-life example for this except to say that often times I would get lost in the supporting questions instead of the root desires. It would be like going into a grocery store wanting to buy coffee. You think to yourself, I want coffee.
But you aren't sure if you have coffee at home and you definitely know you're out of cream. And you simply can't have coffee without cream, so you're definitely buying cream. And if you have cream then you can make that Penne with Spicy Vodka Tomato Cream Sauce you've been wanting to make. So then you need pasta, garlic, red peppers, sausage and Parmesan cheese. Yum!
You go into the grocery store, you buy the ingredients for dinner. But you forget the coffee. And you even forget that coffee was your original desire.
Because I was asking supporting questions to figure out what the person thought (to know if they'd say yes), I'd forgotten what it was I had desired in the first place!
If you've been reading this blog for a while, you know that I've been starting a new phase of my life. I've been changing dramatically. I've been looking deeply into my own self. I turned over this rock and found this thing that I do, this indirectness, with its negative repercussions, and I don't like it. So I decided to change it, or at least have knowledge of when I'm doing it and thus have a choice.
I decided: when I'm going to ask someone for something, I will first ask myself: What is it that I desire? Then, I will ask the person directly to give me what I desire.
Then BAM!!! They say no. OUCH. That hurt.
Now, the next step: dealing with the pain. Ok, now that I'd put myself here, I found that there are different kinds of pain to deal with.
Lots of different kinds of pains.
And completely new situations. Situations that didn't necessarily surface before, because I'd only asked for things if I thought someone would say yes. Which means, they would want to do them. Now I'm learning that, people sometimes say yes, even if they don't want to.
I've found myself in situations where I now have to defend my original desires.
4) I don't know I could lost things by asking for what I want.
Back to that cash-only project work I'd been doing for the small business in the city. We'd negotiated that the business would pay me every Friday. The first week, the owner forgot I had worked 5 days instead of 4, and he only paid me for 4. I brought this to his attention and he paid me the rest right away.
The second week, the envelope was $25 short of the total. When I brought it to his attention, he asked if he could pay me on Monday. However, Monday morning, he said he didn't have the cash, could he pay me the next day.
I said, "Yes, but I'd rather that this is the last time this happens. We negotiated that I am to be paid in full on Fridays, so I would prefer to get paid in full on Fridays".
The owner of this small business didn't like this. At all. The next morning, upon my arrival, he met me out front. He gave me an envelope with the rest of what they owed me and said, despite the fact that my project was not over, my services were no longer needed.
I was fired. Ouch.
A new kind of rejection. A new kind of pain. A kind that took me some time to understand.
Speaking to a good friend later that week who had set me up with the temp job, he laid it out for me. "Yeah", he said, "(the owner) doesn't really like to be called out on."
Was I calling him out? Or was I simply upholding my value.
It took me some time to realize that, unlike the previous negative impacts, what I did was not wrong. Sure, I'd lost the project, which hurt especially because it was at a time when I really needed the cash.
However, I did something that was even more valuable. I stood up for myself. I asked for what I wanted. I defended my position when it was challenged. I protected myself, my desire and my value, in spite of the risk of pain. In spite, even, of loss.
Back to the negative impacts. This is one that was the hardest to come to terms with.
5) I manipulated people.
I manipulated people whom I love. I manipulated people whom I respect and would not ever want to hurt. I manipulated people would probably have otherwise made up their own minds into deciding to fulfill my desire anyway. This was especially true with my romantic relationships. I'm coming to terms with this, I'm healing through this. I'm changing this.
Healing a process. Changing is a process. Having compassion for what I have that I don't like is the first step in starting that change.
My world has had lots of no's lately. They hurt. They hurt every time. Sometimes, I even cry. The difference now is that even though that is true, as long as I continue dig into my desires, and have the courage to ask, sometimes, maybe, once in a while, my ears will hear those sweet, sweet words.
Yes.
And yes sends an explosion of pleasure through your heart and your brain.
That one yes erases all no's along the way.
==
"He who dares, my son. He who dares." -- Jip in 'Human Traffic'
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
NEXT GIG: Sat January 31st @ Shine
Mozaic (Mixtape)
Robb Green (Shameless SF)
Jen Woolfe (Shameless SF/Dreemworld)
and many more
Shine Dance Lounge
LOCATION: 1337 Mission St., San Francisco, CA 94103
OPEN: Wednesday - Saturday, 9PM ~ 2 AM
http://www.shinesf.com
Robb Green (Shameless SF)
Jen Woolfe (Shameless SF/Dreemworld)
and many more
Shine Dance Lounge
LOCATION: 1337 Mission St., San Francisco, CA 94103
OPEN: Wednesday - Saturday, 9PM ~ 2 AM
http://www.shinesf.com
Thursday, January 08, 2009
NEXT GIG: Thur Jan 15 @ Annie's Social Club
Its time once again for Shameless SF's Adaptor and Shameless Sashimi.
Say that fast 3 times!!!
Thursday 01.15.09
shameless presents
Adaptor and Shameless Sashimi
@ Annie's Social Club
917 Folsom @ 5th St
21+ :: free before 10pm, $5 after
Shameless Sashimi
Music * Sushi * Art
7-10pm
sultry beats provided by
JEN WOOLFE (shameless sf, dreemworld) ß *new shameless resident*
Robb Green (shameless sf)
and Many MORE. Stay tuned!!!
Say that fast 3 times!!!
Thursday 01.15.09
shameless presents
Adaptor and Shameless Sashimi
@ Annie's Social Club
917 Folsom @ 5th St
21+ :: free before 10pm, $5 after
Shameless Sashimi
Music * Sushi * Art
7-10pm
sultry beats provided by
JEN WOOLFE (shameless sf, dreemworld) ß *new shameless resident*
Robb Green (shameless sf)
and Many MORE. Stay tuned!!!
Friday, January 02, 2009
Forever and a Day
I realize its been forever and a day since I've published a blog. Though I have two or three of them either in my head or scattered onto various pages in my notebook, I haven't felt the motivation to sit down and bring them together. This is partially due to the sheer speed at which things are happening to me. And partially due to devoting myself to an incredible amount of emotional, physical and spiritual changes.
I've been moving. I've never moved out of state before. I didn't realize this 4 months ago when I accepted a job in Berkeley and began the moving process. I've moved plenty and traveled extensively. But I've never taken up residence outside of the state of Washington. There's more to this than one might think. Red tape, if you will. So much to do just to get yourself settled. I was in a sublet and then I was in a sexy loft space. And, as the financial state of the world has recently crumbled my inner yuppie's American Dream, I have been laid off from my job in Berkeley. I'm moving again. This time, into a room in a friend's house in Oakland where my inner artist can make all her American Dreams come true. Moving is incredibly jarring, and I'm looking forward to grounding myself in one space for a long while.
I've been healing. Through nutrition, acupuncture and intense chiropractic work, I've been bringing my body to a state of 100% health. What disease is taking 4+ months to recover from? Stress. Physical, Emotional and Chemical Stress. Physical: I'm learning how to feed my body all the nutrients it needs daily. Emotional: I'm allowing myself to feel the pain of loss and the beauty of gaining instead of pushing feelings away or rooting them into my unconsciousness. Chemical: I'm paying careful attention to the toxins that I allow into my body and make sure I consume the necessary antidotes to get myself into balance (usually water, nutrients through a balanced diet and essential oils, meditation and -- most importantly! -- rest).
I've been changing. I know I've changed physically. I chopped my hair short, dyed it black and dropped 12 pounds (15 if I don't drink enough water). But what other than physical am I changing? I'm so in the middle of it that I can't even distinguish what is the 'new' me and what is the 'old' me. Meaning, I'm not sure I have a handle on what characteristics I'm leaving and what characteristics I'm holding onto. A year from now, 6 months from now, 2 weeks from now: I'll have a much better answer.
I've been reading. Seriously. Not only am I chipping away at 'Feng Shui for the Soul' and Anthony Ravenscroft's 'Polyamory: Roadmaps for the Clueless and Hopeful', but I've blown through all 4 books in Stephenie Meyer's 'Twilight' Series and a trashy novel called 'The Balance Thing' by Margret Dumas.
I've been connecting. A few weeks ago I told people that though I'd met some members of my new 'family' here in San Francisco, I hadn't 'connected' with them. (This somewhat includes members of my already existing spillover-from-life-in-Seattle SF family, which have been incredibly supportive, inviting and understanding). I've crossed that threshold, finally. I'm connecting with people, new and old, in both East Bay and SF proper that will are creating the support bubble that I need to be my best in this world.
I've been receiving. I am so blessed. So many friends both near and far have handed me exactly what I need at exactly the time I've needed it. From material things like wifi routers to spiritual readings, dj gigs, coffee and hopes for job prospects. Shahid, bless his soul, lent me two monitor speakers. Those two elements, plus a copy of 'Reason 4 Ignite!' is pushing me over the edge of my technical slump with regards to creating music. I'm seriously, seriously blessed.
So what's next for me? Now I am on the job search again and continuing to paint the 'red tape' transparent. Any moment that I'm not doing so is a gift and I'm either spending that in the studio making music or connecting with friends.
And now that my inner artist has taken over my path, my first publishable tracks won't take me forever and a day.
I've been moving. I've never moved out of state before. I didn't realize this 4 months ago when I accepted a job in Berkeley and began the moving process. I've moved plenty and traveled extensively. But I've never taken up residence outside of the state of Washington. There's more to this than one might think. Red tape, if you will. So much to do just to get yourself settled. I was in a sublet and then I was in a sexy loft space. And, as the financial state of the world has recently crumbled my inner yuppie's American Dream, I have been laid off from my job in Berkeley. I'm moving again. This time, into a room in a friend's house in Oakland where my inner artist can make all her American Dreams come true. Moving is incredibly jarring, and I'm looking forward to grounding myself in one space for a long while.
I've been healing. Through nutrition, acupuncture and intense chiropractic work, I've been bringing my body to a state of 100% health. What disease is taking 4+ months to recover from? Stress. Physical, Emotional and Chemical Stress. Physical: I'm learning how to feed my body all the nutrients it needs daily. Emotional: I'm allowing myself to feel the pain of loss and the beauty of gaining instead of pushing feelings away or rooting them into my unconsciousness. Chemical: I'm paying careful attention to the toxins that I allow into my body and make sure I consume the necessary antidotes to get myself into balance (usually water, nutrients through a balanced diet and essential oils, meditation and -- most importantly! -- rest).
I've been changing. I know I've changed physically. I chopped my hair short, dyed it black and dropped 12 pounds (15 if I don't drink enough water). But what other than physical am I changing? I'm so in the middle of it that I can't even distinguish what is the 'new' me and what is the 'old' me. Meaning, I'm not sure I have a handle on what characteristics I'm leaving and what characteristics I'm holding onto. A year from now, 6 months from now, 2 weeks from now: I'll have a much better answer.
I've been reading. Seriously. Not only am I chipping away at 'Feng Shui for the Soul' and Anthony Ravenscroft's 'Polyamory: Roadmaps for the Clueless and Hopeful', but I've blown through all 4 books in Stephenie Meyer's 'Twilight' Series and a trashy novel called 'The Balance Thing' by Margret Dumas.
I've been connecting. A few weeks ago I told people that though I'd met some members of my new 'family' here in San Francisco, I hadn't 'connected' with them. (This somewhat includes members of my already existing spillover-from-life-in-Seattle SF family, which have been incredibly supportive, inviting and understanding). I've crossed that threshold, finally. I'm connecting with people, new and old, in both East Bay and SF proper that will are creating the support bubble that I need to be my best in this world.
I've been receiving. I am so blessed. So many friends both near and far have handed me exactly what I need at exactly the time I've needed it. From material things like wifi routers to spiritual readings, dj gigs, coffee and hopes for job prospects. Shahid, bless his soul, lent me two monitor speakers. Those two elements, plus a copy of 'Reason 4 Ignite!' is pushing me over the edge of my technical slump with regards to creating music. I'm seriously, seriously blessed.
So what's next for me? Now I am on the job search again and continuing to paint the 'red tape' transparent. Any moment that I'm not doing so is a gift and I'm either spending that in the studio making music or connecting with friends.
And now that my inner artist has taken over my path, my first publishable tracks won't take me forever and a day.
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
NEXT GIG: Thur Dec 18 Adaptor and Shameless Sashimi
Shameless presents
Adaptor and Shameless Sashimi
@ Annie's Social Club
917 Folsom @ 5th St
21+ :: free before 10pm, $5 after
Starting off with something a little wet and slippery...
Shameless Sashimi
Music * Sushi * Art
7-10pm
sultry beats provided by
Jen Woolfe (shameless sf, dreemworld)
and delicious sushi treats from
Ichi Sushi
Serving up delicious $3 rolls, $4 nigiri, and sashimi specials!
Plus Specialty Sake Cocktails and Full Bar!
**New this Month!**
Local artist Jamie James in the house painting the scene while you watch it unfold...
followed by
Adaptor
Shame Off. Game On.
10pm-2am
featuring beat selektas:
Mozaic (a glimmer of dope) vs. Robb Green (shameless)
Phoenix (formerly Donna Matrix) ~ Introducing Phoenix, a new incarnation of one of our favorite talents. Watch out for this one!
Lunchtray (Nexus, Yer Mom)
Adaptor and Shameless Sashimi
@ Annie's Social Club
917 Folsom @ 5th St
21+ :: free before 10pm, $5 after
Starting off with something a little wet and slippery...
Shameless Sashimi
Music * Sushi * Art
7-10pm
sultry beats provided by
Jen Woolfe (shameless sf, dreemworld)
and delicious sushi treats from
Ichi Sushi
Serving up delicious $3 rolls, $4 nigiri, and sashimi specials!
Plus Specialty Sake Cocktails and Full Bar!
**New this Month!**
Local artist Jamie James in the house painting the scene while you watch it unfold...
followed by
Adaptor
Shame Off. Game On.
10pm-2am
featuring beat selektas:
Mozaic (a glimmer of dope) vs. Robb Green (shameless)
Phoenix (formerly Donna Matrix) ~ Introducing Phoenix, a new incarnation of one of our favorite talents. Watch out for this one!
Lunchtray (Nexus, Yer Mom)
Tuesday, December 09, 2008
NEW PHOTOs: from HOTwired @ Noc Noc last
Thanks to all who attended my first Seattle gig as a Bay Area Resident.
DJ Coral (http://www. myspace. com/coralslater) and I KILLED it during our 2x4 set when we HotWired Noc Noc last Friday. This kicks off an all-new feel for HotWired that you don't want to miss.
HOTwired at Club Noc Noc
December 5, 2008
Photos by Osiris Indriya and Chiyona Dang
http://www. flickr.
com/photos/osirisindriya/sets/72157610819554835/show/
Don't miss the next couple months at HotWired!!!
----------------------------
Osiris' note:
After the success of creating the first ever CORAL vs. JEN WOOLFE 2x4 in December, we have decided to bring two DJs that have never collaborated before together in unusual pairings that are sure to please. Like chocolate and peanut butter, HOTwired will strive to make each new flavor combination irresistible.
Here are the next three lineups (in order of appearance).
Mark your calendars!
JANUARY 2, 2009
Ctrl_Alt_Dlt
Amanita vs Osiris Indriya
NAHA vs Michael Manahan
FEBRUARY 6, 2009 - HOTwired ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY!!!
Crispy vs Shapeshifter
Recess vs Kadeejah Streets
Osiris Indriya vs Amanita
MARCH 6, 2009 ~GIRLS VS BOYS~
Lara vs Spec
Osiris Indriya vs Kristina Childs
Coral vs Amanita
Enjoy, Seattle!!!
DJ Coral (http://www. myspace. com/coralslater) and I KILLED it during our 2x4 set when we HotWired Noc Noc last Friday. This kicks off an all-new feel for HotWired that you don't want to miss.
HOTwired at Club Noc Noc
December 5, 2008
Photos by Osiris Indriya and Chiyona Dang
http://www. flickr.
com/photos/osirisindriya/sets/72157610819554835/show/
Don't miss the next couple months at HotWired!!!
----------------------------
Osiris' note:
After the success of creating the first ever CORAL vs. JEN WOOLFE 2x4 in December, we have decided to bring two DJs that have never collaborated before together in unusual pairings that are sure to please. Like chocolate and peanut butter, HOTwired will strive to make each new flavor combination irresistible.
Here are the next three lineups (in order of appearance).
Mark your calendars!
JANUARY 2, 2009
Ctrl_Alt_Dlt
Amanita vs Osiris Indriya
NAHA vs Michael Manahan
FEBRUARY 6, 2009 - HOTwired ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY!!!
Crispy vs Shapeshifter
Recess vs Kadeejah Streets
Osiris Indriya vs Amanita
MARCH 6, 2009 ~GIRLS VS BOYS~
Lara vs Spec
Osiris Indriya vs Kristina Childs
Coral vs Amanita
Enjoy, Seattle!!!
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
NEXT GIG: HoT Wired @ Noc Noc in Seattle!
Friday Dec 5th,2008 -- Seattle
* HOTwired * @ noc)} noc)} _ JEN WOOLFE vs. CORAL _ (] O _ o [)
GIRLS vs BOYS vs RECESS
Future Nurses and PURE Cirkus have joined forces to bring performances and dirty music together EVERY FIRST FRIDAY at Club Noc Noc in Seattle.
DECEMBER 5TH
RECESS
CORAL vs. JEN WOOLFE
AMANITA vs. OSIRIS INDRIYA
performances by:
PURE Cirkus
and friends
PICTURES FROM LAST MONTH:
PURE CIRKUS
Noc Noc
1516 2nd Ave Seattle 206.223.1333
$5 before 10pm, $10 after
presented by:
Future Nurses
Pure Cirkus
* HOTwired * @ noc)} noc)} _ JEN WOOLFE vs. CORAL _ (] O _ o [)
GIRLS vs BOYS vs RECESS
Future Nurses and PURE Cirkus have joined forces to bring performances and dirty music together EVERY FIRST FRIDAY at Club Noc Noc in Seattle.
DECEMBER 5TH
RECESS
CORAL vs. JEN WOOLFE
AMANITA vs. OSIRIS INDRIYA
performances by:
PURE Cirkus
and friends
PICTURES FROM LAST MONTH:
PURE CIRKUS
Noc Noc
1516 2nd Ave Seattle 206.223.1333
$5 before 10pm, $10 after
presented by:
Future Nurses
Pure Cirkus
Friday, November 14, 2008
NEXT GIG: SööperQoöl @ 111 Minna
Wednesday, Nov 19th
SööperQoöl = Qoöl 'till 11. Splif smoking is still mostly illegal, but Reggae music ain't so stay late with us for another SööperQoöl first - the all Reggae closing set! The usual astounding array of electronic dance music will of course be on the main menu courtesy of guest DJs Austin Gregory, Hans Gruver and Jen Woolfe, with residents Spesh, Gil, and Jondi. Raggae closing set by Wojtek. Hey mon! Qoöl is you!
This is a Happy Hour set. Email me for Guest List! jen @ jenwoolfe.com
http://www.qoolsf.com
SööperQoöl = Qoöl 'till 11. Splif smoking is still mostly illegal, but Reggae music ain't so stay late with us for another SööperQoöl first - the all Reggae closing set! The usual astounding array of electronic dance music will of course be on the main menu courtesy of guest DJs Austin Gregory, Hans Gruver and Jen Woolfe, with residents Spesh, Gil, and Jondi. Raggae closing set by Wojtek. Hey mon! Qoöl is you!
This is a Happy Hour set. Email me for Guest List! jen @ jenwoolfe.com
http://www.qoolsf.com
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
Monday, November 03, 2008
NEXT GIG: Sat Nov 8 @ CellSpace
Conscious Fashionistas - Thrift Couture Shopping Party
Saturday, November 8, 2008
8:00 p.m.-2:00 a.m.
CELLspace
2050 Bryant Street
San Francisco, CA 94110
Change Your Look, Not Your Wallet
At our next Conscious Fashionistas Shopping Event we will style you silly, dress you funky, green your wardrobe, but also pink, yellow, and purple it up. We’ll create outfits that turn heads and have people stop you in the street asking, “Where did you get that?!” All at a price that will keep you smiling.
On Saturday, November 8th, let us serve you inventive cocktails while beautiful paintings by Michele de la Menadiere grace the walls. Shop thrift till you lift, when belly dancers from Electric Vardo dance us into the Conscious Fashionistas fashion show, with models strutting our gear down the runway. Afterwards hit the dance floor to the sounds of our favorite DJs.
Come and shop for amazing clothes that will transform you, too, into a Conscious Fashionista. We’ll provide a sexy shopping atmosphere and expert advice on which items suit your personality and look.
While we don’t have clothes for them yet, boyfriends, male lovers and husbands absolutely LOVE our events, or so says one of our favorite husbands:
“It was a pleasure to go shopping with my wife at the last Conscious Fashionistas event because I didn’t have to wait forever for her or become bored as I do at a mall or at a shop on the street. I had so much fun, hanging out with my friends, dancing, drinking, and getting to know everybody! You guys already pick the best pieces so my wife doesn’t have to dig around and wait in a slow line just to buy expensive stuff only to get attitude from an underpaid cashier. I’ll be at every event!”
- Carlos Pena Garrido
Shopping Party Details:
* 8:00 p.m. - 11:00 p.m. Shop for Female Fashions
* 10:00 p.m. - 11:00 p.m. DJ Amar (Breaks, Bhangra, Drum & Bass)
featuring Electric Vardo Live
with Belly Dancing by Auberon, Mitara, & Christine
* 11:00 p.m. - 2:00 a.m. DJs Make You Dance
DJ Trav
(Breaks & House)
&
Jen Woolfe
(House, Nu Skool Breaks & Elegant Electro)
Artwork in the gallery by Michele de la Menadiere
Our goal is to create an alternative to the mainstream corporate fashion model. We hope you will join us.
$10 at door
*Must be 21 or older*
We’re not equipped to handle cards yet- so please bring cash.
And remember-Always Be Your Own Brand!
Saturday, November 8, 2008
8:00 p.m.-2:00 a.m.
CELLspace
2050 Bryant Street
San Francisco, CA 94110
Change Your Look, Not Your Wallet
At our next Conscious Fashionistas Shopping Event we will style you silly, dress you funky, green your wardrobe, but also pink, yellow, and purple it up. We’ll create outfits that turn heads and have people stop you in the street asking, “Where did you get that?!” All at a price that will keep you smiling.
On Saturday, November 8th, let us serve you inventive cocktails while beautiful paintings by Michele de la Menadiere grace the walls. Shop thrift till you lift, when belly dancers from Electric Vardo dance us into the Conscious Fashionistas fashion show, with models strutting our gear down the runway. Afterwards hit the dance floor to the sounds of our favorite DJs.
Come and shop for amazing clothes that will transform you, too, into a Conscious Fashionista. We’ll provide a sexy shopping atmosphere and expert advice on which items suit your personality and look.
While we don’t have clothes for them yet, boyfriends, male lovers and husbands absolutely LOVE our events, or so says one of our favorite husbands:
“It was a pleasure to go shopping with my wife at the last Conscious Fashionistas event because I didn’t have to wait forever for her or become bored as I do at a mall or at a shop on the street. I had so much fun, hanging out with my friends, dancing, drinking, and getting to know everybody! You guys already pick the best pieces so my wife doesn’t have to dig around and wait in a slow line just to buy expensive stuff only to get attitude from an underpaid cashier. I’ll be at every event!”
- Carlos Pena Garrido
Shopping Party Details:
* 8:00 p.m. - 11:00 p.m. Shop for Female Fashions
* 10:00 p.m. - 11:00 p.m. DJ Amar (Breaks, Bhangra, Drum & Bass)
featuring Electric Vardo Live
with Belly Dancing by Auberon, Mitara, & Christine
* 11:00 p.m. - 2:00 a.m. DJs Make You Dance
DJ Trav
(Breaks & House)
&
Jen Woolfe
(House, Nu Skool Breaks & Elegant Electro)
Artwork in the gallery by Michele de la Menadiere
Our goal is to create an alternative to the mainstream corporate fashion model. We hope you will join us.
$10 at door
*Must be 21 or older*
We’re not equipped to handle cards yet- so please bring cash.
And remember-Always Be Your Own Brand!
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
NEXT GIG: Wed Oct 29 @ Tingle Tangle
Earl Dax and Wulfpak present
TINGEL TANGEL CLUB
~Halloween Ball~
at The Swedish American Hall!
2174 Market St. @ 15th St, SF (map)
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
$16 Advance ($22 Door) 9 :00 pm - 2:00 am
Presale Online: CAFE DU NORD TICKETWEB
Presale Location: Cafe Flore, 2298 Market St
Presale Location: Ginger Rubio, 600 Shotwell St
Presale Location: Distractions, 1552 Haight St
Saints and sinners alike will converge at the historic gothic ballroom within the Swedish American Hall above Cafe du Nord on October 29 for Tingel Tangel Club: Sex, Magic and the Occult featuring the one and only Penny Arcade. Drawing on the pagan aspects of Halloween and the Celtic samhain, we celebrate our ancestors and the change of seasons in this night of performance and revelry. The star-studded lineup includes Vinsantos, burlesque darling Kitten on the Keys, the rock and roll stylings of the dragulous Ethel Merman, harpist Deirdre Eagan, Sophisticated Boom Boom the Dead or Alive tribute duo, and special guest Holcombe Waller. The evening kicks off with DJ Nature Boy (Babies on Fire) and concludes with closing set by DJ Sunevil (Protection). Since debuting in March, Tingel Tangel Club has drawn a cross-section of San Francisco's alternative communities and provided an opportunity for the cross-pollination of New York and West Coast performers and DJs. With the move to Cafe du Nord / Swedish American Hall, there is a corresponding transition from lounge party to a performance-driven nightlife event. BRAVA Theater receives a portion of proceeds from this event as a charitable contribution.
TINGEL TANGEL CLUB
~Halloween Ball~
at The Swedish American Hall!
2174 Market St. @ 15th St, SF (map)
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
$16 Advance ($22 Door) 9 :00 pm - 2:00 am
Presale Online: CAFE DU NORD TICKETWEB
Presale Location: Cafe Flore, 2298 Market St
Presale Location: Ginger Rubio, 600 Shotwell St
Presale Location: Distractions, 1552 Haight St
Saints and sinners alike will converge at the historic gothic ballroom within the Swedish American Hall above Cafe du Nord on October 29 for Tingel Tangel Club: Sex, Magic and the Occult featuring the one and only Penny Arcade. Drawing on the pagan aspects of Halloween and the Celtic samhain, we celebrate our ancestors and the change of seasons in this night of performance and revelry. The star-studded lineup includes Vinsantos, burlesque darling Kitten on the Keys, the rock and roll stylings of the dragulous Ethel Merman, harpist Deirdre Eagan, Sophisticated Boom Boom the Dead or Alive tribute duo, and special guest Holcombe Waller. The evening kicks off with DJ Nature Boy (Babies on Fire) and concludes with closing set by DJ Sunevil (Protection). Since debuting in March, Tingel Tangel Club has drawn a cross-section of San Francisco's alternative communities and provided an opportunity for the cross-pollination of New York and West Coast performers and DJs. With the move to Cafe du Nord / Swedish American Hall, there is a corresponding transition from lounge party to a performance-driven nightlife event. BRAVA Theater receives a portion of proceeds from this event as a charitable contribution.
Monday, October 27, 2008
Stranger Humor
Louise Quatorze handed me a great compliment regarding my blog. She said
'Reading your blog is kinda like reading Last Days, only you use links instead of boldface.
I <3 Last Days.'
Awwww! I have Stranger Humor! And of Course Last Days, as a weekly written by David Schmader, is always my first Stranger Pit Stop.
Thanks, L.Q.
'Reading your blog is kinda like reading Last Days, only you use links instead of boldface.
I <3 Last Days.'
Awwww! I have Stranger Humor! And of Course Last Days, as a weekly written by David Schmader, is always my first Stranger Pit Stop.
Thanks, L.Q.
Thursday, October 23, 2008
Detox: Or How I Doused my Addictions
A few weeks ago I was filling out the patient sheet for my first appointment for Acupuncture therapy in the Bay area. I'd been having numerous stomach issues for a few years as well as (consider this an announcement for anyone who wants to kiss me) an obnoxious extended breakout of (here it comes, don't freak out) HSV type 1. This is the virus responsible for cold sores and fever blisters. Some factors that influence HSV breakouts are:
Stress
Extended exposure to Sun
Incorrect Diet
Fatigue
Being Run-Down
Drinking lots of alcohol
and I'm just gonna throw in:
Traveling from Sea to (flight) SF to (flight) LA to (car) Palm Springs to (bus) Vegas to (bus) Palm Springs to (bus) LA to (flight) Sea to (flight - and puking the entire way*) Idaho Falls to (flight) Seattle to (flight) Hawaii to (flight) Seattle to (car) Boise to (car) Seattle to (flight) SF to (flight) Seattle to (Uhaul) SF to (flight) Seattle to (flight) SF to (flight) Seattle to (car with cat) SF to (car) Reno to (flight) SF
That is:
13 flights
6 Extensive Car Rides (1 14-hour one with a U-Haul, and 1 14-hour one with a cat)
3 Extensive Bus Rides
3 full days of job interviews in 1 week followed by
36 hours on a Pontoon boat (tho to be fair, I slept in the back of a truck for 5)
5 months of sleeping only on futons, floors or couches
6 months of 90+ degree weather
4-month relationship cycle packed into 4 weeks
Subletting and Apartment Shopping
Starting a New Job
Moving
Stress (I think this is worth repeating)
Needless to say, though my West Coast Adventure was amazing and magical, I had subject my body to a lot. It was in a very uncomfortable place and it let me know that in many annoying & humiliating ways.
I found recommendations for a good Acupuncture clinic from Yelp.com and began my process of physical healing.
When I filled out my new patient questionnaire, I mentioned the outbreaks and the stomach issues and my stress. As an afterthought, I added 'detox'.
I had never done a detox before, nor ever wanted to. But I figured since my body had been through so much plus I'd been drinking for 15 years and clubbing for 8, it might be a good idea. The timing, of course, was perfect, as I was embarking on a new phase of my life. I could start clean, so to speak.
What I didn't realize was that a detox is more than just a colon sabbatical and the exoneration of your intestines. Along with the debris, it also removes old scars and their emotions. (At least, the ones you haven't fully healed yet). But not without pain, which is probably the reason you'd been holding onto the scars in the first place.
The detox itself was a nutrition-based detox. Food was mitigated to only things that are not prone to causing allergic reactions. This included (milk substitutes, starches like rice and tapioca, chicken or fish, vegetables, fruits and spices). What it eliminated was caffeine, alcohol, wheat, dairy, soy products, oranges, peanuts, sugar (including maple syrup and honey), and corn. During the second week, my menu was reduced even more to only fruits, vegetables, fats and spices. Along with the diet, I had to drink a rice-based powder which I referred to as the 'human cleaning fluid'. The taste was much like the baby oatmeal that we were exposed to as suburban American children and produced poopoo that was also much like the poopoo we excreted as suburban American children.
Along with the physical and emotional (and doubtless spiritual) cleansing, my detox produced for me a very clear window to my addictions. The Universe transpires to help you out**.
The first week was about getting through physical withdrawals of addictions. For me those were coffee and sugar.
Coffee
--------------
Ah, coffee. My 2nd biggest and most enjoyable addiction. How can one live 20 years in the rain forest and not succumb to its enticing aroma, its warm comforting blanket snuggled around your cold hands, its omnipresence on every corner and 1/2 block in every American city? Oh, my coffee, it has been only 4 weeks since we last met and yet it has been forever.
So I like coffee.
But what I found is that I'm not really that into caffeine. Masil freaked me out when she mentioned that when she cut out coffee she had migraines. For me, nothing. I was a little fuzzy for a few days. Minor aches in the body. I thought I would get at least one splitting headache, maybe some hammer bulging type action on the temples. Nadda. Honestly, I felt like I'd let Seattle-lites down everywhere.
Though I didn't have headaches, I did notice the first day without coffee I was really cranky. But in retrospect, I might have been cranky because I had an excuse to be. One shopping trip to the thrift store with the Conscious Fashionista (plus two big bags of clothes for only $27 later) and I was feeling mighty fine.
Sugar
--------------
This was a surprise addiction for me. Another surprise was how much sugar actually exists in processed foods. The company I work for, being a startup, buys us hard-working employees food. Its from great places like Berkeley Bowl, Whole Foods and Trader Joe's. Still, sugar is somehow necessary in pre-packaged foods.
My body started feeling the effects of the lack of sugar after about 2 days. That, combined with my detox from caffeine created 3 days of body aches, irritation and general uncomfortableness. On the third day, I would gain surges of energy and then supercrash. It felt like effort to use my body. However, after the 4th day (and many many baths) the effects from coming off these two drugs were all but gone.
The second week was about dealing with habitual addictions.
Netflix
--------------
I know I have a problem. I am aware of the problem, and sometimes I work on the problem. (Standing) My name is Jen Woolfe (Hi, Jen Woolfe) and I'm a TV Series Addict. On days where I am at my weakest, I can blow through an entire 4-episode DVD of any cable TV series. I can never, ever, ever order On Demand Cable. If I have that, I will not sleep. I subdue this addiction with my dear friend Netfix, who will only send me 3 DVD's at at time. Thus, I live on; I work, I sleep, I eat. I can function as a normal human being. The Sopranos was my gateway drug to this underworld of hallucinatory escape. Then Queer as Folk, Oz, Six-Feet Under, Sex in the City, Carnival, Deadwood, The L Word, Weeds... This list goes on and on! But I ask you... where does it end?!?!! (hopefully never)
I wasn't aware that I needed to quell this addiction until the Universe transpired to help me out by making a DVD get stuck inside my laptop, which is the only place I can watch DVDs. It was stuck there for 2 full days before I finally agreed to abstain from TV Series sentry for two full weeks. Once I agreed, the laptop relinquished its grip. Painful it was. But one thing is for sure. I got a lot of shit done.
Alcohol
--------------
The second habitual addiction I faced was alcohol addiction. I had been working on this addiction for quite some time. However, this was the first time I ever stopped drinking altogether. One thing that makes letting go of drinking difficult for me is how much it's integrated into my world as a DJ. Gigs are at bars, alcohol is free, blah blah blah. So during my second week of detox I left the comfort of my nest to venture out on my first Dry Bar experience.
Stay Tuned for Detox: Part II
* long story
** This is actually a quote from the book 'Now is the Hour' by my new favorite author Tom Spanbauer
Stress
Extended exposure to Sun
Incorrect Diet
Fatigue
Being Run-Down
Drinking lots of alcohol
and I'm just gonna throw in:
Traveling from Sea to (flight) SF to (flight) LA to (car) Palm Springs to (bus) Vegas to (bus) Palm Springs to (bus) LA to (flight) Sea to (flight - and puking the entire way*) Idaho Falls to (flight) Seattle to (flight) Hawaii to (flight) Seattle to (car) Boise to (car) Seattle to (flight) SF to (flight) Seattle to (Uhaul) SF to (flight) Seattle to (flight) SF to (flight) Seattle to (car with cat) SF to (car) Reno to (flight) SF
That is:
13 flights
6 Extensive Car Rides (1 14-hour one with a U-Haul, and 1 14-hour one with a cat)
3 Extensive Bus Rides
3 full days of job interviews in 1 week followed by
36 hours on a Pontoon boat (tho to be fair, I slept in the back of a truck for 5)
5 months of sleeping only on futons, floors or couches
6 months of 90+ degree weather
4-month relationship cycle packed into 4 weeks
Subletting and Apartment Shopping
Starting a New Job
Moving
Stress (I think this is worth repeating)
Needless to say, though my West Coast Adventure was amazing and magical, I had subject my body to a lot. It was in a very uncomfortable place and it let me know that in many annoying & humiliating ways.
I found recommendations for a good Acupuncture clinic from Yelp.com and began my process of physical healing.
When I filled out my new patient questionnaire, I mentioned the outbreaks and the stomach issues and my stress. As an afterthought, I added 'detox'.
I had never done a detox before, nor ever wanted to. But I figured since my body had been through so much plus I'd been drinking for 15 years and clubbing for 8, it might be a good idea. The timing, of course, was perfect, as I was embarking on a new phase of my life. I could start clean, so to speak.
What I didn't realize was that a detox is more than just a colon sabbatical and the exoneration of your intestines. Along with the debris, it also removes old scars and their emotions. (At least, the ones you haven't fully healed yet). But not without pain, which is probably the reason you'd been holding onto the scars in the first place.
The detox itself was a nutrition-based detox. Food was mitigated to only things that are not prone to causing allergic reactions. This included (milk substitutes, starches like rice and tapioca, chicken or fish, vegetables, fruits and spices). What it eliminated was caffeine, alcohol, wheat, dairy, soy products, oranges, peanuts, sugar (including maple syrup and honey), and corn. During the second week, my menu was reduced even more to only fruits, vegetables, fats and spices. Along with the diet, I had to drink a rice-based powder which I referred to as the 'human cleaning fluid'. The taste was much like the baby oatmeal that we were exposed to as suburban American children and produced poopoo that was also much like the poopoo we excreted as suburban American children.
Along with the physical and emotional (and doubtless spiritual) cleansing, my detox produced for me a very clear window to my addictions. The Universe transpires to help you out**.
The first week was about getting through physical withdrawals of addictions. For me those were coffee and sugar.
Coffee
--------------
Ah, coffee. My 2nd biggest and most enjoyable addiction. How can one live 20 years in the rain forest and not succumb to its enticing aroma, its warm comforting blanket snuggled around your cold hands, its omnipresence on every corner and 1/2 block in every American city? Oh, my coffee, it has been only 4 weeks since we last met and yet it has been forever.
So I like coffee.
But what I found is that I'm not really that into caffeine. Masil freaked me out when she mentioned that when she cut out coffee she had migraines. For me, nothing. I was a little fuzzy for a few days. Minor aches in the body. I thought I would get at least one splitting headache, maybe some hammer bulging type action on the temples. Nadda. Honestly, I felt like I'd let Seattle-lites down everywhere.
Though I didn't have headaches, I did notice the first day without coffee I was really cranky. But in retrospect, I might have been cranky because I had an excuse to be. One shopping trip to the thrift store with the Conscious Fashionista (plus two big bags of clothes for only $27 later) and I was feeling mighty fine.
Sugar
--------------
This was a surprise addiction for me. Another surprise was how much sugar actually exists in processed foods. The company I work for, being a startup, buys us hard-working employees food. Its from great places like Berkeley Bowl, Whole Foods and Trader Joe's. Still, sugar is somehow necessary in pre-packaged foods.
My body started feeling the effects of the lack of sugar after about 2 days. That, combined with my detox from caffeine created 3 days of body aches, irritation and general uncomfortableness. On the third day, I would gain surges of energy and then supercrash. It felt like effort to use my body. However, after the 4th day (and many many baths) the effects from coming off these two drugs were all but gone.
The second week was about dealing with habitual addictions.
Netflix
--------------
I know I have a problem. I am aware of the problem, and sometimes I work on the problem. (Standing) My name is Jen Woolfe (Hi, Jen Woolfe) and I'm a TV Series Addict. On days where I am at my weakest, I can blow through an entire 4-episode DVD of any cable TV series. I can never, ever, ever order On Demand Cable. If I have that, I will not sleep. I subdue this addiction with my dear friend Netfix, who will only send me 3 DVD's at at time. Thus, I live on; I work, I sleep, I eat. I can function as a normal human being. The Sopranos was my gateway drug to this underworld of hallucinatory escape. Then Queer as Folk, Oz, Six-Feet Under, Sex in the City, Carnival, Deadwood, The L Word, Weeds... This list goes on and on! But I ask you... where does it end?!?!! (hopefully never)
I wasn't aware that I needed to quell this addiction until the Universe transpired to help me out by making a DVD get stuck inside my laptop, which is the only place I can watch DVDs. It was stuck there for 2 full days before I finally agreed to abstain from TV Series sentry for two full weeks. Once I agreed, the laptop relinquished its grip. Painful it was. But one thing is for sure. I got a lot of shit done.
Alcohol
--------------
The second habitual addiction I faced was alcohol addiction. I had been working on this addiction for quite some time. However, this was the first time I ever stopped drinking altogether. One thing that makes letting go of drinking difficult for me is how much it's integrated into my world as a DJ. Gigs are at bars, alcohol is free, blah blah blah. So during my second week of detox I left the comfort of my nest to venture out on my first Dry Bar experience.
Stay Tuned for Detox: Part II
* long story
** This is actually a quote from the book 'Now is the Hour' by my new favorite author Tom Spanbauer
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