i can't love myself until i love my mom

I just put a piece of ice into a glass of white wine to cool it down. I am turning into my mother. Good thing she's really attractive ... and she just got a tattoo!

3-day weekend!

Three very exciting things happened to me last weekend --

I spent the weekend with my little bro hanging out at the EMP and playing music. On Monday and Tuesday Pink and I ventured into the Olympic National Forest, and on Wed morning I (showered) and arrived back at work to my first (and hopefully only) MSDN subscription.

How can this weekend top that?

OH Yea ... Maybe with something like this --

(Thu May 26)

@ Chop Suey
Sensory Effect & Chop Suey present … mix skewed melodious funk*
Kim Hiorthoy (Norway)
Mercir
Foscil
Talk Demonic

@ Contour
O2 Collective** & El Circo present … a Biodiesel bus Load full of Freaks!
DJs Lorin (www.bassnectar.net)
Osiris Indriya (www.osirisindriya.com)
Shawna
El Papa Chango
Malakai

@ Neumos
Wake Up, Decibel Fest, and Tino Corp Present … groundbreaking Industrial-Dance/electro and the exploration into Dub permutations*
MEAT BEAT MANIFESTO
Dub Trio

(Fri May 26)

@ Mantra
Hitgirl brings you ... a jumpstart ta th' weekend.
NIZ
LA KENDALL
$2 "YOU CALL IT'S" TILL 11:00!

@ Mars Bar
Michael Stephens brings herself ... to 28!
Fishlure will be djing throughout the evening in between sets by The Femurs, Ripspacer and the Blakes.

@ Watertown brings you ... monarchy!
Bishop bangs out the night at 9pm

@ Trinity
Uniting Souls, United.House.Front and Trinity Nightclub present ... living history.
DUBTRIBE SOUND SYSTEM on their last tour ever.
with
MATT CORWINE (LIVE) (11 to Midnight) [U-Freqs, Soulmine, Imperial DUB]
Jizosh [United.House.Front, Goodbeat]

In the Marquis (Blue) Room:
LSDJ
Mr. Supreme

In the Formosa (Card) Room:
Jeromy Nail [Uniting Souls Music]
Osiris Indriya [Oracle Gatherings]


(Sat May 27)
The Gorge brings you … Sasquatch!!

Pixies
Modest Mouse
Kanye West
Wilco
The Arcade Fire
Ray Lamontagne
Jem
Bloc Party
U.S.E.

(All Weekend)
Detriot brings you … Movement

Movement, Detroit's Electronic Music Festival ‘04
Hart Plaza - Detroit Michigan
Free Admission

Movement, Detroit's Electronic Music Festival, is the largest electronic music festival in the world. The event integrates musical and visual artistry, creativity, diversity and state-of-the-art technology, as more than 70 world-renowned acts perform on multiple stages for over one million fans. Held each year in the birthplace of Techno Music, Movement is the place to be seen on Memorial Day Weekend. The best DJs spin the best beats for a musical bender like none other and it's all FREE.

Hitgirl and WOW Represent in Detroit! --
Minx
Main Stage at the Festival on May 28th, 7:00 p.m. Tagging with DJ Genesis on four turntables!

Afterparty Sat 28th at 12:30 a.m. at The Labyrinth Club downtown.

Pirahna
Downtown at Agave on Saturday, May 28.

---
* Words by Electrosect

** The Oxygen Collective is a very special organization that “practices creative resistance through projects that address injustice in our communities and destruction in the natural world.” Consequently, I’ve also had the pleasure of sharing camp with them at Burning Man. They are a passionate, inspiring, caring bunch. It’s a special night at Contour tonight. YOU should GO. I am.

self aware

Once you become self-aware, you can alter reality.

Couple Thingies for Tonight

**Artist Reception and "Foreign Forms" opening at See Sound Lounge**

(Wed May 25)

Continuing with the second arts-industry forum in a weekly, Wednesday
night series of events for creative urbanites alike, local painter Perry
Estevenin will showcase his most recent oil on canvas abstracts at See Sound
Lounge. See Sound Lounge hosts the artist reception with complimentary
appetizers from 8-10:30PM. Estevenin will be present to discuss or
answer any questions pertaining to his work.

Beginning at 10PM in See Sound's d e e p lounge, an open-mic will be
hosted by David Tomlinson in which individuals have the opportunity to express
theirthoughts, ideas, rants, and raves.

then stick around for ...

"Grace" is a weekly event that features rotating, culturally hip events
such as exclusive fashion and trunk shows, affairs of art, charitable socials,
and monthly champagne and spirit tastings. Gracing the decks, the
all-female DJ line-up boasts local lovelies:

Erin O' Connor
Brandy Westmore
Hyasynth
Beatrice

$5 Cosmo's all night long & $3.50 Stella's.

Or head over to Element for Johnny Fever

Johnny Fever @ Element
Nicky Delgado

Sami Khoury

There’s some amazing artists in Seattle. Photographer’s included. I’m always plugging my friends Kanani and Jerseygirl because they are both on my IM buddies list and many times a day I see their itty-bitty pictures pop up. Oh yea, and they are very talented. But there’s another very gifted local photographer named Sami Khoury that has been capturing the face of Seattle’s electronica scene since 2002 (probably longer. I’m going by his website archives). He’s been published in The Stranger, Seattle Weekly, Minty Magazine, Aphid Magazine, America Online City Guides, online magazines around the world. Check out his site. I think the best thing about his photos is how richly he captures people smiling, dancing and having fun.

A few highlights:
Mark Farina @ Chop Suey Nov 2002
HEY!! That's Elleetee at Merchants Café with Miss Kick Jul 2003 !!!
HOT photos of beautiful people when Sharpshooter’s played the Rebar in May 2003.
Contour always has the best photos due to their DJ background. SWEET firedancer shots, too!
The historical monthly, ROBO.trash. This one is Alibi Room in June 2003.
Uniting Souls at Nectar in Sep 2004. I think this is when it first opened?
Billy Idol Tribute band, Vital Idol at Premier. Love it!
The Sonar Festival in Barcelona. I especially like the soldier image behind the sillouette.

Does anyone else see a show on his site that they attended?? Good times!

Phat Ass Friday and Sat to Boot

There's a LOT of good stuff to shake that sass to tonight!

(Friday May 20)
Hitgirl Mantra!!
LA Kendall
Miss Funk
Rob Winter

Chop Suey and Perfect Hit Present
MARK FARINA MUSHROOM JAZZ TOUR
3 hr Set!

DJ ICEY @ ELEMENT

Luke Solomon @ Trinity
with Brian Lyons (Flammable) , LSDJ & Mr. Supreme.

(Sat May 21)
Girl4Girl @ Premier!
Ricki Leigh and Special-T team
The hottest mix of hip hop, 80's, reggae and old school funk

(Sun May 22)
If you are up in Vancouver, it's a 3-day! Which means another Lotus Long Weekend brought to you by Intimate Productions.

10:00pm - 3:00am Lotus Night Club
Honey Lounge 455 Abbott St @ Pender 604.685.7777

2 rooms of sick beats!
Honey [Breaks / House / Mash Up]
Tantra
Altered Egos

Lotus [House / Progressive]
Tom Thomas (Taal/Overproof)
Tyler Stadius
Alison Barth (Taal)

I'm hanging with my lil' bro this weekend (we may be spotted at the Storm Game tomorrow), so think of me when you're gettin' your groove on (I know you always do).

Three Nights of the Chop Chop Chop

(Wed May 18)
Sharon Jones (classic soul singer) @ Chop Suey

(Thu May 19)
LICK @ Chop $3
DJ’s ANNA OXYGEN
Master Stan
Fagolis
Sappho

(Fri May 20)
MARK FARINA MUSHROOM JAZZ TOUR3 hr Set!

Horse of a Different Choreography

DropnSpin gave me this clip. It's the Equestrian World Cup held in Dusseldorf in 2004. The second or third song is a Trance anthem. No kidding! The horse, Lingh, is truely dancing. I have a whole new appreciation for Equestrians, Horses, DropnSpin and Gwynn.

For the crowd, Edward Gal was the special favourite as they clapped and cheered to the high points in his freestyle. He said: “ When the crowd did that Lingh really felt it and gave even more – he loved it.”

Ride on!

Filling up faster than a pee-bottle at Burning Man

My days fill up faster than a pee-bottle at burning man. I actually have to schedule ‘at home’ days or my cat gets pissed. Not pissed like upset, but pissed like drunk. He’s a big alchie, that kitty. My cat now has a buddy, Kazi. That’s short for Kamazaki. He’s insane, like Sokolicky. He jumps from airplanes and catches birds on the way down. He brought in segments of a bird’s foot on Monday along with a bunch of feathers. It grossed me out. My cat knows better. I told him early on that, though I was proud that he can catch many animals to play with, I’d rather he keep them out of the house and away from my conscience. Kazi heard no such lecture as a child. Fishlure is less strict of a mommy than me.

You may have guessed by now, but I don’t actually go to all the shows that I advertise on my web site. It’s more of a ‘wish list’. Thus the Rockstar joke. A Rockstar weekend is one where there is attendance at least 3 shows. You are a true Rockstar if you can make it to all the shows you want to see. There’s just SO many GREAT shows in Seattle. We are blessed. A little too blessed, actually. Because even Sokolicky can barely keep up (notice I said barely? That’s cuz she’s a Rockstar).

My real wish list is to sleep for 8 hours every day and have dinner at home 5 nights a week. That’s my realistic wish list. I was a Rockstar this week. I made it to TWO shows in a row, both on weeknights. And then, of course, there’s the REGULAR SHIT that you have to do in your life. Like eat. And go to the Dentist. And get your hair cut. And go with your mom to buy jump suits. Laundry is a big one. I’ve begun to double up my duties. Multitask. So now I’m going to eat at the Dentist’s, and get my jump suit cut and dyed all at the same time with my mom’s laundry.


(Thu May 12)
MIA is performing free tonight at 7pm at Sonic Boom in Ballard. She also did an interview and live performance on kexp yesterday at about 3:30pm which you can listen to on the streaming archive at kexp.org

(Fri May 13)
Cherry @ War Room

Derrick Carter @ Trinity
Chicago

Misha @ Mantra Lounge

Happy Birthday Patrick (Electrosect) @ Nectar
w/ JERRY ABSTRACT
RECESS
PAUL EDWARDS

(Sat May 14)
8limbs Yoga West Seattle Opening
Derrek Mazzone spins the records

Swirl People @ Trinity Nightclub
RAOUL BELMANS Swirl People / Aroma Recordings
tag-team set byJEROMY NAIL & LU ROB (Uniting Souls, SF)
trip -hop & breaks dj MANOS (Uniting Souls, Sea)
and LONESTAR (Houston TX)

Rockstar Awards of the Month

This month's Rockstar Awards go to...

Runner up!
Diller (of Diller’s list fame) for seeing Ben Watt in SF at the intimate venue, DNA Lounge.

2nd Place ...
Fishlure for hanging with Perl Jam at un-advertised in-store at West Seattle Easy Street Records.

And the First Place Winner is...
Sheiny for chumming it up with Jason Lee and Danny Masterson backstage at Ben Watt and Miss Kitten's set at Cochella!

How YOU can be Rockstar of the Month for June...

The M.I.A. and LCD Soundsystem show is SOLD OUT for tonight. Whoever gets without a ticket or guest list will automatically qualify for next month's ROCKSTAR of the MONTH award! First prize is, well, nothing except uber-kewlness.

New Mix Stuck in Kustoms

So I have a new mix for y’all, but technical difficulties seem to always create an obstacle between getting the mix from me to you.

1. Inevitably, my computer is down. Before my 200 GB hard drive, I was always almost out of space. Now I have my 200 GB HD installed (even though it only sees 170 GB of it, I think because I’m running Windows 2000 and I need a specific service pack to make it see all 2000).

2. I’m missing both the software both to cut the CD into tracks and also to burn it to my CD drive.

3. In fact, I’m not sure my CD drive is even being recognized right now. I think I need to install the drivers for that all over again.

4. I did install the software to record from mini disc to the computer, but for some reason it the correct ‘Record what you hear’ option is not listen on the drop-down menu. Ugh. Computer shit is so frustrating.

5. Even when I have the CD burned and ready to send off, I still have an anti-magnetism to the Post Office. There are still a few people who wanted ‘In The Pink’ on CD and I haven’t sent it. Sorry, kids.

6. Now that I’m off my vegetarian lifestyle, I think I’m allergic to chicken. Not that it’s an obstacle in getting my CD out, but it’s still a pain in my sassafrass.

Sissyfight

The ambrosial philosopher speaks in the Tablet!

http://www.tabletmag.com/99/columns/99_sissyfight.shtml

NEXT GIG: Friday May 6 @ Mantra Lounge

Please join me back into the land of the DJ-living at Mantra Lounge
Friday May 6th That's tomorrow!). Music starts at 10! I'll be spinning
between 11 and 2 .... or maybe even later......

The first of many Hitgirl Fridays at Mantra!

Emily Song & Miss Funk (the Vixens of Vinyl)
DJ Saigon
Jen Woolfe

21+ w/ ID
Mantra Lounge is located at 210 South Washington St in Downtown
Seattle!
10pm-2am
$5 cover
http://www.mantralounge.com/mantra_events.html

Wet and Wild Wednesday & Weekend

( Wed May 4 )

DJ Chloe @ Element

Johnny Fever @ Sonja’s

(Thur May 5)

Nordic Soul in Portland for "Techno Sol"
A long-running tech house weekly that happens at a club called Saucebox in PDX. C
http://www.nwtekno.org/vb/showthread.php?threadid=82433&eventid=19017

On your way to Portland, stop by Cielo Blu to view 10 works by Kanani. Her work will be up only for a couple weeks! http://www.worksbykanani.com


(Fri May 6 )

SATOSHI TOMIIE from Japan @ Element
One of the best shows I've ever experienced at LSC. Will be even more amazing at Element!

Hitgirl @ Mantra Lounge

Vixens of Vinyl - Emily Song & Miss Funk
DJ Saigon
Jen Woolfe

( Sat May 7 ) @ Trinity

One of SF's deep house origionators

Loveslap's Heartbeat v2 cd-release Tour
feat. special guest JULIUS PAPP - Loveslap / Foundation, SF
with JON LEMMON - Viva / Uniting Souls
and BRYCE - See Sound Lounge
21+ 10pm-4am, Free before 10:30pm, $15 after.

Divine Google

If you google the term "Low Hanging Balls", The Divine Disenchantment's blog is the top 10, sometimes top 5 list of sites to come up. Google is fantastic (so's the blog). Go see it.

Random Thoughts from a Bellevue Baseball Field

Do you ever think you shouldn’t sit on the grass? It’s laid out for us for aesthetic pleasure in a ‘don’t use the good towels’ kind of way.

There’s a sign on the building in front of me that says
‘Luxury Condos Available. Hurry! Few Units Remaining’
I wonder how long that sign has been up.

I was thinking yesterday of how oppressive alcohol is as a drug, much like how oppressive Fast Food is as a food. In large quantities, it slows your body and mind into a fuzzy mass of haziness. But a few French fries taste yummy now and again.

Maybe all these people tiptoeing around the perimeter of the park will join me pleasantly on the grass.

~ sprinklers start up ~

Maybe not.

New(d) Pics

Finally got the digital cameras rolling again!!!

Rockstar Orphans one with Fishlure, Licky & Duff.
Rockstar Orphans two with Fishlure, Woolfie & da Man.
Pink and Sapphire chillin'.
Pink and Sapphre in on the Leschi nude beach.
Sunrise in Leschi.
At the Bay in SF.
Building one in SF.
Building two in SF.
And an SF addition to the Jen Woolfe self portrait series.

If I were you....

(THURS APR 28 )
@ Marcus' Martini Heaven -
Ramiro spins an early downtempo set from 9-11pm, drop by & say hello!
Free (no cover).
dj Dakka (aka John Matthews) closes out the night.
Location: 88 Yesler Way (1st & Yesler)
http://www.marcusmartiniheaven.com

(FRI APR 29)
@ War Room
Ravergirl’s softball team fundraiser
Foxc Productions presents Swank - A woman's event with DJ Miss A.

@ See-Sound Lounge -
Jon Lemmon spins a 5-hr set!
Location: 115 Blanchard (bet. 1st & 2nd).
http://www.seesoundlounge.com


(SAT APR 30)
@ The Baltic Room
Halo (H-Foundation/Siesta/BlueM/Large - San Diego)
with local support from
Jon Lee (Tilted/Downlow Music)
and dj Venus
Location: 1207 Pine St (at Melrose)
http://www.thebalticroom.com

@ See Sound Lounge
1 year anniversary party
CARLOS DA SILVA
SIMON HOUSER
WENDALL
RECESS
DJ MB
BRYCE
http://www.seesoundlounge.com

Travelling 101

Travelling is like relieving yourself of a good poo. It’s easy if you go with the flow. If you try to plan where/when/how/who, you’re often left disappointed when you find bathroom. I haven’t traveled, I mean really traveled, in 10 years, when I was in Europe, and I’ve forgotten many things about it. Reading maps, mostly. I stared at one for 8 minutes before I realized the picture was pointed the opposite way. You forget things that you take for granted. Like you need money to get a train ticket going there and back. And that hotel rooms will put a hold on your credit card. And that deposits made on Saturday don’t go through until Monday night. I don’t have a credit card. I have a credit card bill. So when I was signed up for a last-minute training class in SF Friday (plane leaves early Sunday morning!) I applied for an Alaskan card on-line. Of course that doesn’t help me this weekend. A $150 dollar hold on my debit card doesn’t help me, either. I’ve had just enough money to get to where I need to go and even eat. But traveling is like that, really. If you go with the flow. If you smile at people and talk to them. If you ask questions without looking like a tourist. I feel like I’m putting on an old sweater that is slightly small and needs to be stretched out. Damm, my boobs look good.

I was on the Caltrain yesterday headed back to the city. My class is 45 minutes away on the train. A couple headed to the Giants game asked to sit in the seats facing me. I said cheerily, please do. They were talking baseball and a guy sitting across from us chipped in. They went on forever about players and stats and what team they came from, where they should go, why they were picked to play a position instead of another guy, and remember when the other guy was on the DL for tooth pain, and I can’t believe he hit that double to win the 15^th game of the 2^nd playoff for the little league world series when his cousin was traded for a green card, I mean, sheeze! I said my usual – ‘I stopped watching when the Mariners traded Omar Visquel to Cleveland’. That usually relieves me of having knowledge of anything recent but shows that I may have known a thing or two about some good players in my time. ‘Wanna beer?’ They asked. ‘Sure!’ I love traveling.

Things to remember when Travelling

- Don't bring a hair dryer
- Ask what the view from the room is.
- Bring cash for tips.
- Bring good quality speakers for your laptop.
- Send Pink a postcard the first day.
- Bring a backpack. Bags get heavy when carried up hills.
- Keep all your reciepts (mostly for business travel).
- Find an organic food store.
- The hotel will put a hold on your credit card.
- Bring a swim suit for the hot tub, workout clothes for the gym. And shoes.
- If you use public transportation, make sure you have enough cash to get back.
- Give a homeless person some food or a soy drink. That kinda shit always comes back.
- Smile at people and be friendly. You never know who might offer you a beer.

A Rockstar is Born

Who knew my Rockstar weekend would land me in San Francisco – to rest? It was almost the perfect weekend in terms of music, really. A mellow launch on Thursday at the Showbox with Sound Tribe Sector 9, culminated to climax with Sasha at the Element on Friday, and a gracious descent with Brandi Carlile at Neumos on Saturday. The three best music venues in Seattle, all in one weekend. A last-minute training session for work (yes, I have a day job) put me on a plane to SF at 9am Sunday morning. Exactly on time. You see, San Francisco is where Jen Woolfe was born. The first Rockstar weekend began at the bay, when the crew came down to SF to celebrate Roseann’s 25^th birthday on March 31, 5 years ago.

We hit all the biggies that weekend – Ruby Skye, 1015 Folsom. We drove by the End Up and, upon seeing the huge line, decided to ride the morning out at the Pier instead, gazing at the bridge and smiling at the early morning fisherman in our club clothes and crazy hair. It wasn’t long after experiencing the vibe a crowd of hundreds brings with their hands up in the air piously towards Mark Farina, Chicago House legend and SF transplant, that I began to DJ. That weekend I found my gospel in haunting basslines, playful synths and rhythmic beats. Once I found my cadence, I found my moniker.

Jen Woolfe is not the name on my birth certificate. I’ve always hated the surname unto which I was born. Too structured. Too uptight. And unlike me, far too popular. I would receive random checks in the mail in college made out to me from people I didn’t know. Once my dentist pulled the wrong file and asked me how my jaw was doing. I was looking forward to a new last name when I got married, until I realized I was gay. I’d never felt close to my dad’s father’s name. Disappointed, I thought I was stuck with it forever.

Woolfe is my dad’s mother’s name. Lillian ‘Betty’ Woolfe. When my grandmother was 20, her uncle told her that America was for young people. She worked two jobs for two years and saved up enough money to catch a boat to the states. I’m very close to my grandmother in many ways, and far away from her in many others. She’s an old-school, conservative British-American woman who still asks me if I’ve found a nice boy.

Almost 10 years ago, I visited the birthplace of Lillian ‘Betty’ Woolfe. Manchester, England. Something else was born there, too. The foundation of Rave culture, Punk, a movement that would changed music forever.

I was 20 when I arrived in Manchester, my hair freshly cut to my shoulders and bags popping out at the sides. My dad’s cousin Patsy picked me up and showed me the scrawny town. I’d never been out of America. I’d never been off the West Coast. I grew up a lot in my 6 months in the U.K. But not nearly as much as I’ve grown since that weekend, 5 years ago, in San Francisco.

Roseann has always been the one friend that got me into the most trouble. I went to my first party ever with her the first week of college, and we’ve been amazing friends ever since. I never went to any parties in High School. Never drank. Never smoked. Not that I didn’t want to. I was just never asked. I was liked well enough, but was by no means popular. I was a band geek. Shy. I sat hiding in the corner wearing tennis shoes and baggy t-shirts, unnoticed. I liked it that way.

I’ve often said that I live a double life. Geek by day and DJ by night. But my worlds are colliding. The old party-girl has arrived at her birthplace, laptop bag slung over her shoulder instead of her vinyl case. And on Friday night at club Element, an old friend stopped by to entice another collision. ‘Hey’, he said. ‘Aren’t you Jenny Hamilton?’. I almost shit myself.

I never thought anyone from High School would recognize me. My hair is bleach blonde instead of brown. I was wearing thick black-rimmed glasses. And hey, now I have style. Despite my disguise, Sam Franks and all 3 of his brothers were standing between me and Sasha, smiling. ‘Wow’, he said, ‘I haven’t seen you in 10 years!’

We all used to play at the elementary school when I was ten. I had a huge crush on Sam for a while, until I secretly fell in love with a skater boy named Chase. ‘How come I never saw you at any parties in High School?’ he said. ‘I was never asked.’ ‘Really?’ he said. ‘I invited everybody’.

Maybe I forgot to check my everybody@shs.com email. But more likely, I just wasn’t ready. I was pretty bored in High School. I lost myself in books about other people’s lives. After high school, I decided to live a life worth reading about.

I’ve changed a lot in 10 years. Grown in ways I’d never thought to believe possible. I’ve seen outside this universe and inside myself. I’m not the shy girl anymore, hiding in the corner. But I haven’t lost her traits: her mind and her heart, her dirty sense of humor or her insecurities.

When I turn 30 in June, I’m legally changing my name to Jen Woolfe. I pass the explanation off as a Feminist thing, taking on my maternal instead of my paternal line. But I’m not really a feminist. It’s more about me and the person I’ve built out of my own imagination, through the process of aspiring to my own dreams. There’s the me that I was given and the me that I’ve created. I love both of them.

Some of my friends don’t like Jen Woolfe. They call her my sidekick and tell me to grow up. They are sad that I’ve lost the ‘old Jen’. But what they don’t understand is that I haven’t lost anything that wasn’t real. I’ve simply dropped the traits I didn’t like and merged the two together. The old Jen started writing many stories, but never finished the first chapter. With her sidekick, she’s created a persona in order to express herself. And why sit shyly in the corner when the main character is having so much fun?