A year ago this week, I set off on my West Coast Adventure with a 1-way ticket to San Francisco. I had no home, no job and every possibility for my future. Before I left, I'd been doing some pretty intense energy healing. A large piece of that healing was for me to learn to ground myself (or charge my Base Chakra) regardless of my location. I'd begun a meditation during one healing session, where my home was a large Oak tree. Wherever I went, so did my home. I could decorate the home however I wanted, leave it whenever I wanted and most importantly, return to it whenever I wanted to feel safe. Over the course of my trip, I decorated the inside of my imaginary oak tree with all the things that I like to keep me comfortable. There are things like a fake, fluffy teddy bear-skin rug on the floor, a fireplace on the ceiling, and a huge branch outside the top floor of the trunk (reachable by the air elevator) where I may look out over the world. I was an eagle, ready to soar.
Though my West Coast Adventure ended mid-July, the real healing that I was to do was just getting started. I realize, dear readers, that I never published my Detox Part II story. This is mostly because the detox is still going on. I wasn't just detoxing the poison of 15 years of drinking and clubbing. Throughout the last year, I've been detoxing all the things that have been holding me back from flight.
Not just physical or chemical. Or emotional.
My largest setback with soaring as an artist started the minute I signed a lease for a loft space on the edge of Emeryville and Oakland. I'd been wrestling with my inner yuppie for quite some time. On my inner artist's path, I'd been enjoying short spurts of I.T. contracting and keeping my living costs low, giving up money for time. But I felt that since I was going back to work full time, I wanted to enjoy some of the perks of having a full-time paycheck. I wanted to live on my own in a rad place. I'd found the place and it was gorgeous. Plus, it felt like me.
What I didn't realize at the time, was that it was a different me, a me I'd let go of long ago, burned with my business cards in the fire of the Temple. She was resurrected for 5 months in an empty but beautiful loft space on the edge of Emeryville and Oakland. Right on the edge -- the very line where the two cities meet. Perhaps this was a sign; one I did not see. Emeryville, a city of high-end retail shops, snazzy restaurants and Pixar Studios, and Oakland, the bay's eclectic underbelly, booming with bohemians. Kind of like the two sides of me. I had built the dream of my next 4 years: where I was going, what I was going to do with the loft space. But my dream was very spendy, and when I was laid off from my full time job at the start-up where I was working, the dream shattered.
For the first time in 8 years, I was off my path.
What I felt then was confused. There was no magic. What the hell was going on? I remember heading to the Berkeley Marina, right after my lay off. I climbed out of my car and down onto some large rocks, overlooking the water. Across the bay I could see San Francisco, sitting tall and all-knowing. 'You know what you're doing,' I thought.
Through a ground-breaking tarot reading from Jessica Star, I learned that I was in a cycle and had no idea. The job at the Berkeley start-up was not an end to a means. It was a vehicle to plant me in the East Bay, a place for refuge and resurrection; an artistic mecca where I can step back from the excitement and energy of the city and create before entering it with all the fullness of who I am.
But first, I had to get out of my loft space. And I needed all of my deposit back.
Enter Ranger Napalm: a Black Rock City Ranger, ex East Coast party promoter and long-time friend of my long-time friend Vudu. Napalm had a house in the hills of Oakland with 2 empty bedrooms, a backyard and a gorgeous view of the bay. Plus, he would wave my rent until I got back on my feet financially. The magic was back! I cleaned the loft space silly for 3 days, spackled and painted. I retrieved all my deposit back and left my loft dream to a fancy young couple with 3 cats.
Napalm isn't the only new friend that I have acquired here in the Bay, nor is he the only one that Vudu introduced me to. Seems that there are quite a few D.C. party kidz roaming the city and they have been wonderfully welcoming and willing to show me the way. Carls, for one, a hot rod-riding designer\bartender, has taken me under her wing and introduced to me the more stylish side of the lesbian scene with events such as a the weekly happy hour at Orson's and the flirtatious Fem Bar. Along with new friends, I've also been deepening my connections with old friends. I'm throwing parties with Shameless Robb and Mugs, swapping coffee with the Ambrosial Philosopher, booking Shahid Buttar's lyrical endowment to enhance my groove, and celebrating my 1-year anniversary with the Conscious Fashionista. I guess my point with this paragraph is: I've met some amazing people, and they've been taking care of me.
And I've been taking care of me. My chemical detox is not over. After 3 months of hard-core cleansing, I went back to my old ways. For about 2 months I denied that my body wasn't ready to be back. I broke out yet again with cold sores about mid-January and then put the proverbial bottle back on the shelf. I was connected through a massage therapist (and DJ student) of mine in Seattle to a healer (an another new friend) who recommended some over-the-counter solutions to help continue my cleanse. I also decided to do a liver detox. My liver needs some love. Its tells me that during my acupuncture appointments, when those points that are connected to my liver cause me to wince in pain and all but smack my dear acupuncturist across the mouth. I'll detox my liver for another 2 months and then see where I'm at before I decide what my new relationship with alcohol is to be.
Ok, more about the new me. I still have DJ gigs. Way more than I expected. In fact, I have the perfect amount: 1-2 a month is great for me. With my residency at Shameless SF's new monthly starting every 3rd Thursday at Triple Crown, my occasional appearance at the Qoöl happy hour at 111 Minna and multiple new relationships forming seemingly every time I go out, I couldn't be happier with how often I get my DJ fix. Jondi and Spesh, Qoöl's originators, also put my profile & mix up on the internationally known web site, Proton Radio. And to top it off, Spesh told me I was 'One of the good ones'. Talk about reassurance!
And that's just in the Bay Area. I also have some fantastic gigs coming up in Seattle the first week of April. On April 3rd, I'll be firing up the dance floor again for HotWired at Noc Noc with Coral, Amanita, Osiris & DJ Miss Shelrawka. Then on April 10th, I'm playing on my first bill with my latest student of the DJ arts, "Riff Raff at Victory Lounge. I have another huge gig coming up in Seattle in May, but I'll keep that under wraps until the event is announced (Ooohh, suspense!).
Regarding music production, I've just crossed a milestone. Up until now, I've been in the process of learning the tools. While this will never end, I do know that now every sound that I create during the learning process, or in the creation process, are elements that will be layers of my tracks. I know what the instruments are and which pieces of the songs they can help to create. I know the layout of a song, how to add tension and how to move it forward. The sound during this part of the process is so important that I've finally had to buckle down and buy some monitors so I can hear every frequency with crystal precision. Since I'm still under financial duress, I went for low-end but quality monitors, the KRK Rokit 5 Generation 2 model. Two of those, along with a subwoofer to pound out some filthy, brimming bass, and I'm ready for this exciting new adventure in my artistic career.
To accompany my new me, I'm about to embark on a PR Relaunch of Jen Woolfe Inc (its actually an LLC, but that doesn't really have the same ring to it, does it?). First, my long-time buddy Kanani worked her lil' heart out to make a new logo, CD covers and gorgeous business cards. Next, in two weeks I'll be coming out with a new double-disc mix CD (including cover) to share with everyone my new tastes in tracks. Third, I'll have a new myspace music page for exposé of the said tracks (its there now, but don't look!). Then last but not least, is the release of my new website, with sizzling new graphics, layout and lightening fast upload speeds (for the geeks).
So you can see with all these exciting changes, why I had to look inside myself and let go of things that were weighing me down (12 lbs of things, in fact). I am now grounded. I have my nest, my tools and the support I need. I have back my path, my vision. I know what I sound like and I sure as hell know what I feel like. Now that I have me, the sky is the limit. And once again, I'm ready to soar.
